Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Photos Of The Day: Kids Are Actually The Worst

I saw a George Carlin stand-up on HBO years ago and he said something along these lines:

"Everybody says 'What about the kids?' 'We need to do it for the kids!' 'Let's think about the kids.' You know what I say? FUCK the kids! That's right. Fuck 'em! Nobody worried about us and we turned out fine."

Hey, I like kids. I really do. And I adore my daughter. But every parent will tell you there are some days when you stop, look at your partner and say, "What the hell were we thinking?"

Pics from Buzzfeed. Link from Cloe Oliver.

They're always eating

They're stupid

They do crap like this. Like, five seconds after you 
tell them not to crap like that

They cry about everything

They're mean

They're lazy

They're functionally useless

They're the reason we CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING 
NICE AROUND HERE! 

They don't give a crap about anyone else

They're uncoordinated


See the rest here.

14 comments:

  1. omg, Cary, that's awesome! LOL Damn kids!!!

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  2. Love it! I think I'll stick with cats ;)

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  3. Aw, the little guy catching his sister (I presume) as she jumps off the porch made me smile. Kind of a sweet thing to do even if he is inept at it.

    The kid smacking Grandma's coffee cup will probably hear about that story for years to come! HA!

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  4. I can tell they're not worth the hassle.

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  5. We call ours Random Event Generators.

    All I can say is that I hope I live long enough to be a burden to them...so they'll have to feed ME mushed up food, wipe MY arse when I've had an explosive poo, deal with ME waking them up at 2 am because I heard a funny noise, and tell them I never asked to be born, that it's all their fault I'm here, and it's not fair, none of it. Then I'll slam doors, sneak out, crash the car, and steal bills out their wallets. And refuse to move out because I'm just not ready yet.

    So there.

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  6. "Life, what a beautiful choice . . . life, what a beautiful choice . . . " (The mantra I used to repeat when my kids were little and into EVERYTHING.)

    Bless 'em.

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  7. Yep. Cock-blocking, money hooverin' snot-nosed curtain climbers. Fucking kids...

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  8. All this and more...including hideously expensive!

    Continuing to be thankful for my choice to remain childfree ;)...

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  9. I find the logic of my children is often flawed.

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  10. The main reason I'm never having kids is because of "the curse".

    The one all moms say to their kids at one point, "When you have kids I hope they're exactly like you."

    That's kept me terrified from ever reproducing.

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  11. Those darn kids! Functionally useless. hahaha

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