Monday, November 12, 2012

News: Shitload of Math Due Monday

From The Onion.

OLD BRIDGE, NJ—In what many are calling a complete bullshit move, Riverside High School algebra teacher Mrs. Trella, 34, assigned her sixth-period class an assload of math homework due Monday.

The homework, which included a number of impossible to solve word problems, several stupid equations, and a bunch of other pointless crap, was assigned at the end of class on Friday.

"She gave it right before the bell rang," said ninth-grader Kenny Riley, who claimed that the last thing he needed was to spend all day Sunday looking at some retarded math book. "I was packing up my stuff to go when Mrs. Trella comes out of nowhere and gives us, like, four huge pages of work to take home."

Added Riley, "Fuuuuuuccck."

In addition to its poor timing, students expressed outrage Friday over the length of the math assignment, which some estimated would take fucking forever to complete, and was even more tedious than that lame history project from Mr. Shepard's global studies class.

Students also cited the need to show one's work, circle final answers to get full credit, and use the quadratic formula—whatever that is—as leading indicators of how hard the homework sucked.

"We did so much work in class already," said Michelle Siringano, who still plans to go to the mall with several friends on Saturday. "Mrs. Trella just wants us to be as miserable as she is."

According to a recent survey, Trella pulls this kind of stupid bullshit all the time. In November, the 34-year-old announced a surprise math test that wasn't even about stuff that made any sense, while earlier this year, Trella reportedly lost her mind and assigned homework on the very first day of school.

Sources still have not confirmed what the fuck that was about.

(continued here)


  1. As a math teacher (who DOES get laid), I fucking LOVE this!

    1. Thanks for sharing the whole laid thing.

  2. Today, I am thankful that I don't have children so that I don't have to help them with homework or listen to them bitch about it.

  3. My son sounded a lot like Riley over the weekend! :)

  4. ..a complete bullshit move.. AAHHAHAHA! This is so great.

  5. In school I fucking HATED math with a white hot burning passion, and was convinced I'd never use any of the higher math stuff unless I went into a field that demanded it.

    And I was right.

    So now I enjoy teasing my nephews and younger cousins still in school that yes in fact they really won't use any of that stuff after they graduate, and doesn't it just suck the big one that they are stuck learning about it anyway.

    Yeah, I'm kind of a dick.



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