Popeye's Home Boiglerized
SWEETHAVEN VILLAGE—According to a report filed with the Sweethaven Police Department, the private residence of sailor man Popeye was violently boiglerized at approximately 4:30 a.m. Wednesday.
"It seems that early this morning, the masked thieves broke down the door and boiglerized a house, taking nearly $700 worth of cash and pois'nal items and assaltupatin' the residents," said a police spokesperson, adding that the humiligrated homeowner was forced to watch at gunpoint as his live-in girlfriend Olive Oyl, 34, was voiliated by the men.
"Sadly, as the thieves were making their escape, they even moidered an eyewitness, J. Wellington Wimpy. It's a real traveshty."
Authorities added that the homeowner was still shaken from the experience but had promised to poilverize them no good so-'n'-sos should he ever find them.
I remember watching Popeye. It wasn't one of my favorites but pickin's was slim on Sunday morning when it aired, so we watched it. Sunday morning cartoons were the B-team; all the good stuff--Bugs Bunny, Scooby-Doo, Super Friends--aired on Saturday. So when you got up early on Sunday you could either watch church, Gospel Jubilee or old/low-budget stuff like Popeye, Hercules, Speed Racer, Zoom. I'll say this for Popeye--it was different and, like the Three Stooges and Little Rascals, clearly from another era.