Thursday, November 1, 2012

News: Drunk Lawyer Gets Stuck In Garbage Chute Trying To Get Into Own Apartment

Lindsey Lohan meets Augustus Gloop. From Complex.com.
Thanks for the link, Amy Carey.
 

Drunk NYC Lawyer Nearly Loses Arm After Locking Herself Out of Apartment

by Julian Kimble

Attorney Maggie Baumer locked herself out of her Manhattan apartment on Friday night, and launched an intoxicated plan to break into her apartment. 

Baumer realized that she had given her keys to a friend, so rather than pay a locksmith, she decided to break in through the building's garbage chute

Baumer rang the buzzer on the exterior of her apartment building until someone let her inside, then decided to break into her apartment through the building's garden. 

The garden is only accessible through a cellar, which was apparently only accessible through a garbage chute.

After diving head first down the chute, Baumer got her arm caught in the motion-triggered trash compactor. 

Her arm was nearly severed. Rescue workers had to shut the building's power off and give her morphine to numb the pain. 

Baumer was trapped for a painful hour before being freed. 

12 comments:

  1. Lindsey meets Augustus! I love that.
    She should have just passed out in the street like a normal drunk person. Sheesh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OR on the front stoop wearing a black trash bag.

      Delete
  2. Let this be a lesson to you ladies out there -- it's safer to just go home with that sketchy guy at the bar!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Precisely what I used to say. It never worked. I always went home alone.

      Delete
  3. Wow, I wonder how long it will be before she gets drunk again.

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    Replies
    1. NEVER! NEVER AGAIN! She's serious this time. She's done with booze forever.

      Well.. maybe not FOREVER forever, but for a while. At least until the end of the year.

      Except for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Gotta have wine at Thanksgiving and Christmas. That's not really drinking.

      Delete
    2. She's NEVER drinking again. Again.

      Delete
  4. Haha! Cary, yes, that's pretty much how I am imagining it will be.

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  5. This is exactly the kind of level-headed thinker I want representing me in a court of law. Hired!

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  6. Finally...an easy way to obtain morphine! Being a lawyer (and I work for them, so I know...) she is going to sue the building owners/manufacturer of the shute/neighbor who let her in/any walking, living, breathing thing, (better known as "Does 1-100") for her own stupidity. I think the Bar Association may want to review her abilities, and could even disbar her for a period of time, due to her drinking/stupidity. She is like Lionel Hutz!!

    ReplyDelete

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