Thursday, October 11, 2012

News: Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt

From The Onion.


Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt

BOSTON—The twigs and acorns crunching pleasurably beneath his boots, Mr. Autumn Man Dennis Clemons, 32, reportedly strolled down Massachusetts Avenue on Wednesday wearing a gray sweater over a plaid collared shirt as he cradled a cup of pumpkin-spiced coffee and relished the crisp October morning.

“Nothing beats autumn in New England,” said His Excellency, the Duke of Fall, who began the day swaddled in a warm flannel blanket, gazing out the window at the golden-hued landscape, as is his custom this time of year. 


“Everywhere the leaves are changing and the temperature is starting to drop off. You can smell it in the air.”

“Tonight it may even dip into the 30s,” added the cozy autumnal personage, who at several points wrapped both hands around his warm container of coffee and inhaled deeply. “Perfect weather for building a fire.”

Mr. Fall, who sources speculate loves Thanksgiving, butternut squash soup, homecoming parades, “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” apple-picking, and haunted hayrides, emerges reliably every year around this time in his traditional uniform, sometimes alternating his iconic sweater with a fleece vest or pullover.

The Autumnal Ambassador is also believed to be an avid consumer of seasonal produce, his home and hearth redolent of roasting Indian corn, gourds, and other root vegetables.



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4 comments:

  1. Mr. Wintertime Asshole Man. I know him. I married him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dated Ms. Autumn Woman, I hated her ass whenever Fall approached. It meant hayrides, and three hour drives out in the country to look at the leaves and majesty of nature. Not to mention afternoons spent at cider mills (if they had hard cider I didn't mind this so much), and pumpkin patches to pick out the most perfect one for carving.

      Again, I hated her ass.

      Delete
  2. It's been dipping into the 30's here quite a bit the last couple of weeks. I miss summer already. Ha!

    This sounds like a lot of people I know, except everybody wears hoodies here instead of sweaters. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. The POTD is the Russian version of Olan Mills?

    ReplyDelete

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