Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Product Of The Day: BIC Cristal For Her

So BIC has this pen that's made just for women, featuring an "elegant design" and "thin barrel to fit a woman's hand." Oh boy. As you can imagine, this is going over like a fart in church, and you know what that means: funny Amazon reviews.


A few reviews ranked Most Helpful on Amazon:

"I love BIC Cristal for Her! The delicate shape and pretty pastel colors make it perfect for writing recipe cards, checks to my psychologist (I'm seeing him for a case of the hysterics), and tracking my monthly cycle. Obviously, I don't use it for vulgar endeavors like math or filling out a voter application."

"Ask your husband for some extra pocket money so you can buy one today!"

"FINALLY-- a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It makes me feel so feminine and pretty! It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market.

"My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I'm writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson's last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I'm positively giddy."

"I bought these pens for the sleek design that is so suited to my weak, tiny hands. But immediately after they arrived, I began receiving emails from total strangers proposing to "en1arge" my "pens." How did they know???? This is TERRIFYING me!"

"My little brother turned into a unicorn after I lent him one, and my friend told me that a boy in her class grew fairy wings in the middle of a test."

"When my daughter reaches puberty, along with a slap across the face to remind her of the pain of being a woman, she will receive her first BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen. What better gift could I give her on her path to true femininity?"

"I love the pretty colors and skinniness, but I'm only giving two stars because they're annoying. For one thing, they dot every "i" with a little heart. They also won't make periods at the ends of sentences; it's a question mark or exclamation point every time, also dotted with hearts--SUPER annoying."

"This product is fantastic for those days when my prose is suffering from that not-so-fresh feeling. It even fits conveniently in my purse, and I don't have to feel embarrassed if it accidentally falls out when I'm searching for the tight white pants I'm going to wear while horseback riding on the beach."


More here. Thanks, Julie Martin, for the link.
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5 comments:

  1. Hahaha! These are hilarious!

    "For one thing, they dot every "i" with a little heart."--that's my favorite one. :-D

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  2. Are these ribbed? For my pleasure?

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  3. What blows my mind is there is a whole series of these pens! I love this review on another variety: " This pen cannot help me beat clothes on a rock...It gets wet in the creek behind my house.

    Besides, my husband says that there is no need for me to worry about such things as he can do the the thinking and writing for the both of us."

    ReplyDelete
  4. "My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I'm writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson's last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I'm positively giddy."

    The sad thing is she's forty-five and already married.

    ReplyDelete
  5. These reviews made my day! Sharing it with everyone!

    ReplyDelete

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