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Date: 2012-08-09, 11:04AM EDT
I'm new to town and need someone to help me for about half an hour while I give my rockin' awesome cat a haircut. I don't want to pay a groomer $75 and don't want to stress my fantastic feline out by taking him somewhere he's not comfortable.
He is very docile and does not mind this procedure; it's just a two man job that I'm short a reliable person to operate.
All I need you to do is:
1) Be cool
2) Dig cats
3) Hold my cat for half an hour.
2) Will not bite, scratch, urinate, defecate and/or molest, harry and/or pillage your forearm region.
2) head butt and/or
3) give aforementioned area loving attention.
This needs to be done at my apartment and I will pay compensate you with beer, good music, stimulating conversation & $10 (It's not much, but you're doing this because it will make a great story).
You may bring a companion, alert the authorities of your whereabouts and do anything else you need to make sure you feel safe.
I will not monetarily compensate any colleagues you bring; however, said cohorts may help themselves to one of the following options 1) one alcoholic beverage & one snack 2) two non-alcoholic beverages & one snack 3) unlimited ice cold water & two snacks.
Also, your may choose to watch television and/or listen to my massive collection of vintage and contemporary vinyl collection while grooming is being performed.
Let me know you're not a weirdo, creep show and/or otherwise sketch ball in your reply. This is life low hanging bucket list/life adventure fruit y'all.