They say he suffers from foot-in-mouth disease, but I think he's a gifted comedian.
Thanks, Woodwoman, for the link (The Mirror).
After being told that Madonna was singing the Die Another Day theme in 2002: “Are we going to need ear plugs?”
To female sea cadet last year: “Do you work in a strip club?”
At a project to protect turtle doves in Anguilla in 1965, he said: “Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don’t you have a slogan: ‘Kill a cat and save a bird?’”
To President of Nigeria, who was in national dress, 2003: “You look like you’re ready for bed!”
To expats in Abu Dhabi last year: “Are you running away from something?”
In Canada in 1976: “We don’t come here for our health.”
On the Duke of York’s house, 1986: “It looks like a tart’s bedroom.”
To a British trekker in Papua New Guinea, 1998: “You managed not to get eaten then?”
Using Hitler’s title to address German chancellor Helmut Kohl in 1997, he called him: “Reichskanzler.”
On the 1981 recession: “A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone’s working too much. Now everybody’s got more leisure time they’re complaining they’re unemployed. People don’t seem to make up their minds what they want.”
To then Paraguay dictator General Stroessner: “It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.”
To Cayman Islanders: “Aren’t most of you descended from pirates?”
To Scottish driving instructor, 1995: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?”
A VIP at a local airport asked HRH: “What was your flight, like, Your Royal Highness? Philip: “Have you ever flown in a plane?” VIP: “Oh yes, sir, many times.” “Well,” said Philip, “it was just like that.”
“I’d like to go to Russia very much – although the bastards murdered half my family.” 1967.
On how difficult it is in Britain to get rich: “What about Tom Jones? He’s made a million and he’s a bloody awful singer.”
Turning down food, 2000: “No, I’d probably end up spitting it out over everybody.”
Asking Cate Blanchett to fix his DVD player because she worked “in the film industry”, 2008: “There’s a cord sticking out of the back. Might you tell me where it goes?”
His description of Beijing, during a visit there in 1986: “Ghastly.”
On Princess Anne, 1970: “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she isn’t interested.”
To a group of industrialists in 1961: “I’ve never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing.”
“I don’t think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.” 1988.
While stuck in a Heriot Watt University lift in 1958: “This could only happen in a technical college.”
To the General Dental Council in 1960: “Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I’ve practised for many years.”
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