Wednesday, August 1, 2012

13 Things Your Mother-in-Law Will Never Tell You

Not my usual kind of post but I saw this on Reader's Digest and thought, whoa, meow hiss! Then I thought about all the women that read LOTD and said to meself, this oughta stir things up a little bit. So here you go. I'll be in the kitchen making popcorn. Then I want to hear your thoughts on this.

13 Things Your Mother-in-Law Won't Tell You

1. It hurts to be downsized. 
I spent a couple of decades being the leading lady; now I have a character role.   

2. I know he's your husband now.
 But he’s still my son. 

3. You don't seem very confident about yourself.
 The littlest comment from me is taken as a criticism, so I’m very careful what I say around you. 

4. A little gratitude wouldn't hurt.
 Every year, I send you a birthday present, but you never even pick up the phone to thank me. This year, I said, “That’s it. No more.” Yet look at me: I’m about to send another present. I guess that’s how I am. 

5. I want the best for both of us.
 We mothers say to our children, “I want you to be happy.” And we mean that. What we don’t say is, “But I would like to be happy too.” 

6. I know a little something.
 I’ve bought and sold 13 houses in my life. Why won’t you ask for my advice? 

7. When I visit you, I'm just coming to see the family. 
I’m not coming for a white-glove inspection.

8. I've got his number.
 When I really want to talk to my son privately, I don’t call your house. I call his cell phone. 

9. I'm truly appreciative. 
I’m so happy that you allow my son—your husband—to visit me on Mother’s Day. It’s a long trip and a big expense. 

10. I have a dirty little secret.
 I’m afraid that if I don’t get this right, you’ll cut me off. 

11. I'm in competition with your mother. She takes you on vacations every year and buys things I can’t afford. All I can do is love you and babysit for you. I hope that’s enough and that it’s appreciated. 

12. I'm lucky to have you!
 Whenever I stay at your house, you always have my room ready, my towels, everything. You do all the right things. 

13. You know me well.
 I cherish the refrigerator magnet you gave me: “Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.” 



  1. Nice to know my MIL came out of retirement to write for Readers Digest. "I'm not coming for a white glove inspection.." BULLSHIT
    "I am in competition with your mother.." (Yep, and you are losing)

  2. Ha! You're a pot stirrer, Cary. :D

    #8 strikes a chord for me. My MIL almost always calls my husband's cell phone instead of the house. One time she wasn't able to reach him on his cell phone because he happened to be in one of the "black holes" in our area where there is no reception.

    She called the house. Ordinarily I would have been at work, but I happened to be home on a rare day off, and I answered the phone, also a rare event.

    I obviously caught her off-guard. She was flustered and said, "Oh, I was going to just leave a message. I didn't think you would be HOME." She recovered enough to talk to me, but it was a short conversation. She basically just gave me a message to pass on to her son. I was amused by the whole thing. I'd actually prefer that she call him on his cell phone anyway. I hate talking on the phone.

  3. I feel really lucky. My MIL can be a pain sometimes, but overall she's really helpful and supportive.

    ems :)

  4. Uh, this list is way too nice to be from my MIL. She calls him on his cell phone, too. Thank God.

  5. Are any of you guys MIL's? I am and let me tell you. We get a bad rap. I try so hard and do everything asked and can never get it right. I am not nosy, I love love love my daughter in law. I think you should take time to get to know your MIL's. Maybe she is scared of you, or is afraid to piss you off, cause now you have the power over her son and grandkids. I think you should give MIL's a break!

    1. I agree! I've always had a great relationship with my MIL. She has never meddled in our relationship, and I respect her and ask her advise in many things. I never felt like we needed to be best friends. I have plenty of those. I too call my son on his cell phone. I have had a hard time navigating a relationship with my DIL, and tend to find avoidance best. The expectations placed on the mothers of sons don't seem to be the same as those placed on the other side of the family. Would any man gripe that his wife's mother called them on their cell? Of course not!

  6. Well, she DID find it remarkably easy to tell me that I was a bad mother and wife. Of course she was drunk at the time, so I should cut her some slack. Or just cut her.

  7. hahahaahaha of course this came from Reader's Digest. OF COURSE.

    F you, MIL.

  8. I think it's interesting. Most of us will be MIL someday. Mine is great and this list makes me think even more positively about her.

    1. Yes, yes you will. It's a good thing to keep in mind.

  9. Guess I've been lucky, on my second marriage and BOTH MILs were great. I'm not saying there were no issues, but if I can relax and go with the flow it's been really nice.

    I think MIL #1 did feel a bit sad to be "downsized," perhaps, but she had a great way of dealing with it - she had us over for dinner every week! And she still shopped like she had hungry sons at home, so she'd send me home with groceries. I'm no dummy, I will eat free food and let someone else cook for me!

    MIL #1 and I were very close, and the loss of her friendship was one of the biggest hardships of leaving her son.

    MIL #2 is just great through and through, and the hardest part with her is that she lives four hours away. So every visit has to be overnight, and for the kids to see her means several hours in the car both ways in a station wagon full of hyperactive short people. Ick.

    I would like to say to the MIL that wrote this article, though, re: #4 - get a grip. Either stop buying the presents, or don't. But personally, giving gifts is either a formality I do because of obligation, or a thing I do to show affection. If you sit around waiting for a thank you from everybody you'll go crazy! Which obviously you have.

  10. Geeeezus! The only gripe I have about my MIL is that she's a Chatty Cathy. Of course, my mother doesn't take me on vacations... Not that I'd voluntarily go on vacation with my mom.

  11. MILF #1 was a large part of why that marriage didn't work. She still treated him like he was 10 and he let her. She was mean as dirt too. I didn't measure up and she made sure I knew it.

    MILF #2 was an angel on earth. She was the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met. I still miss her. She raised her boy right, we're still married, coming up on 23 years.

    Prairie Girl

    1. I'm hoping you didn't mean to type "MILF", Prairie

  12. #14: I will chase you down the street with a well sharped knife until you leave my baby alone.

    My grandma did that to my eldest uncle's girlfriends. He ended up married at 48, when he finally left home.

  13. So far my MIL is lovely. We have shopping days out together. She sends me cakes and other nice things to eat when her son visits. However, she does get to see her son very frequently and I think that helps keep her sane. He's the baby of the family so I think letting go has been very hard for her.

  14. mine is a huge twat. called me a tramp "jokingly" at her birthday dinner and enjoys buying me birthday gifts of XL lime green track suits (i'm a size 4). she can stuff it though because the nastier she is, the more of a hole she digs herself into. she's got a good 25 years on me though, i've just got to wait her out...



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