Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Tumblr Page Of The Day: Ghetto Hikes

The site is called Ghetto Hikes, and here's the deal, according to the creator: "I'm 28. I have a full time job leading urban kids (of all races) on nature hikes. I simply write down shit they say."

These are hysterical and even sweet in an odd sort of way. Many thanks to Jennifer Castle and Dan McBride for the link.

“Mr. Cody, I ain’t no snitch or nuffin’ but Denny back there shovin’ colored rocks in his pockets. Homie lootin’ the forest!”

“Bring the first aids kit, Leon think he tore his rotisserie cuff.”

“Is rabbits eatable? Or you just s’posed to cuddle the fuck outta them?”

“Yo Mr. Cody, how many these mushrooms I gotta eat fo’ I Super Mario da fuck outta dis place?”

“Hey Dustin! Getcha ass ova here! We buildin’ bird feeders! Peanut butter pinecone craft time motherfucka!”

“Quinton’s fat ass waaaay back there. Homie can’t keep his pants up. Tryna borrow a belt, I’m like nobody here wear size Equator!”

“Mr. Cody, this cool but next time I get my cousin D’wayne to deliver us Papa Johns. D’wayne turn these woods into a pizza party forest.”

“If me and J√©von find a treasures chest out here, we makin’ the bus driver stop by the Coinstar. Cool?”

“Hey, i’mma leave this cologne out for the animals. Help a brother get some pussy in the matin’ seasons.”

“Mr. Cody, me n’ Patrice gunna poke holes in the top of dis tent. My mama gunna be pissed if I come home stuffocated.”

“You don’t need to tell Markell he has to shit in a hole, homie shits in all sorta crazy places.”

“I sits wherever I damn please, ain’t no assign seats up in this forest.”

“The earth be like, ‘today i feel like makin a river.’ That’s just motherfuckin’ mother nature.”

“Ernesto know all about plants n’ fungi n’ shit, his mama work at Subway.”

“We out in nature dawg, ain’t no need to use dictionary words like ‘beverage.’

Lots more at Ghetto Hikes.



  1. Holy crap this is awesome!!

  2. Thank you! I haven't been to his site in a while. Now that hubby is camping out with his friends, I will share the insights with his "homies".

  3. OMG! I go online for the first time in 2 days and I'm laughing so hard I'm coughing and peeing my pants. These are hysterical. Thanks, Cary, for the laughs. (The peeing is totally not your fault.)

  4. Welcome back, RGR! You were missed.

    These are hilarious! I love these. How cool is this!

    "nobody here wear size Equator" ahahaha! :D

  5. That's my answer next time I have to tell anyone my belt size: 'equator.'

  6. As you know, I don't hike. But I would hike with these mofo's. "His mama work at Subway." I'm dying.

  7. LOL... Best post I have seen in a while Carey.

  8. The story about Mervin hunting snipes is comedy gold.

  9. “Hey, i’mma leave this cologne out for the animals. Help a brother get some pussy in the matin’ seasons.”


    OMG, I love them; These kids dont even know their mother f-n' comedians. I could cuddle da f-k outta these kids till their all stuffocated!

  10. Can't stop laughing. Hilarious! Thanks Cary.

  11. awesome. not laughing at them, but with them.

  12. I agree: one of your all-time bestest posts. Love the rabbit comment ala Lenny & George: "I'm gonna love him and hug him and squeeze him all the muthafuckin' time, bro!". Gotta call in late to work so I can visit the site, right now. Tell them it's Peanut Butter Pine Cone Craft Time, Muthafucka!!

  13. Y'all are some easily fooled white motherfuckers.



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