Tumblr Page Of The Day: Ghetto Hikes

The site is called Ghetto Hikes, and here's the deal, according to the creator: "I'm 28. I have a full time job leading urban kids (of all races) on nature hikes. I simply write down shit they say."

These are hysterical and even sweet in an odd sort of way. Many thanks to Jennifer Castle and Dan McBride for the link.

“Mr. Cody, I ain’t no snitch or nuffin’ but Denny back there shovin’ colored rocks in his pockets. Homie lootin’ the forest!”

“Bring the first aids kit, Leon think he tore his rotisserie cuff.”

“Is rabbits eatable? Or you just s’posed to cuddle the fuck outta them?”

“Yo Mr. Cody, how many these mushrooms I gotta eat fo’ I Super Mario da fuck outta dis place?”

“Hey Dustin! Getcha ass ova here! We buildin’ bird feeders! Peanut butter pinecone craft time motherfucka!”

“Quinton’s fat ass waaaay back there. Homie can’t keep his pants up. Tryna borrow a belt, I’m like nobody here wear size Equator!”

“Mr. Cody, this cool but next time I get my cousin D’wayne to deliver us Papa Johns. D’wayne turn these woods into a pizza party forest.”

“If me and Jévon find a treasures chest out here, we makin’ the bus driver stop by the Coinstar. Cool?”

“Hey, i’mma leave this cologne out for the animals. Help a brother get some pussy in the matin’ seasons.”

“Mr. Cody, me n’ Patrice gunna poke holes in the top of dis tent. My mama gunna be pissed if I come home stuffocated.”

“You don’t need to tell Markell he has to shit in a hole, homie shits in all sorta crazy places.”

“I sits wherever I damn please, ain’t no assign seats up in this forest.”

“The earth be like, ‘today i feel like makin a river.’ That’s just motherfuckin’ mother nature.”

“Ernesto know all about plants n’ fungi n’ shit, his mama work at Subway.”

“We out in nature dawg, ain’t no need to use dictionary words like ‘beverage.’

Lots more at Ghetto Hikes.

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