Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Dude Definitions Of The Day

I posted these on GuySpeak, my home away from LOTD. They call me the Wise-Ass there, and if you have a relationship problem, I might be able to help. Yeah, I know--WTF? But try me. And be sure to mention LOTD in your question so I'll answer it, since we get hundreds.


ANGRY MEATBALL
A diminutive, belligerent man at a bar.

MASS ERECT
When someone replays Mass Effect to see all the sex scenes.

ANGLER
Someone who has mastered the art of figuring out what angles they look best in pictures, rarely resulting in the same attractiveness in person.

HANDSOMITE
A particularly good looking man of Jewish or Arab descent.

"I LIKE CHEESE"
A generic phrase you use to change the subject when the conversation turns awkward.

Friend: "Betty left me for a carny since I can't get it up anymore, but it's not my fault, it's the anti-psychotics they're making me take since I tried to sodomize that cop. How 'bout you?"

You: "Um. I like cheese."


VULCAN LOVE PINCH
A sexual act that requires years of training and experience in order to execute.

RESCUE CHIP
The chip you use to recover the pieces of the one(s) you broke off in the dip.

GLEED ON
When your significant other forces you to watch the TV show "Glee."

eHOLE
Someone who's normal and cool in real life but turns into a raging dick on the intrawebz.

SHNORDIS
A short notice date, only accepted if you like the person.

Nicer cans than mine? Bullshit. Where?

UNSLUNG HEROES
Braless, bouncy, bodacious, beautiful boobies.

THE KICKER
What a guy gets when he gives his lady a surprise Shocker.

BUSINESS DRUNK
When you're drunk, but not so drunk you can't function.

VATICAN ROULETTE
The rhythm method of birth control, so named because it is the only form of contraception approved by the Catholic Church.

WIKIHOLE
When you start reading something on a website, which links to something else, which links to something else, which... "I got no sleep last night: I was researching 'Good Times' and fell into a wikihole."

FOREIGNER
A band everybody sober hates and everybody drunk loves.

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha! I love these. You guys are very clever and very funny. It's been a long day. I think it's about time to celebrate some unslung heroes here. :-D

    ReplyDelete

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