Wednesday, June 27, 2012

10 Famous Authors Who Could Beat The Crap Out Of You

From Guyspeed.


The  man responsible for children’s classics like ‘The Giving Tree’ was actually a notorious bad ass. Uncle Shelby was a beefy bald bearded dude who served honorably in the Korean War. Silverstein split his time between writing books and putting songs together for a wide variety of musicians, including Johnny Cash. Although he was mostly a peaceable man, you know that Shel could take you out if he needed to.


One of Japan’s most famous novelists, Yukio Mishima was a man of many facets: literary genius, closeted homosexual and brutal fascist. Mishima practiced rigorous bodybuilding for most of his life, and in 1968 he formed his own private army to “protect the Emperor.” A few years later, he actually attempted a coup d’etat in Japan and committed ritual suicide after it was unsuccessful.


Best known as the author of ‘Le Morte d’Arthur, the classic work of English fantasy that so many bad movies have been based on, Thomas Malory was a total d-bag who feared no man. Some of his crimes included bushwhacking a the Duke of Buckingham, robbing houses and beating the tar out of whoever crossed his path. He was eventually tossed in Newgate Prison, where he wrote his famous book.


The British author of ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ brought an acerbic edge to his writing that came from his bad ass life. During World War II, Dahl was a fighter pilot for the British army, flying obsolete biplanes in combat against the Germans. He survived a hideous crash in Libya that wrecked his plane, fractured his skull and briefly blinded him. The notoriously curmudgeonly author could have taken you down easily.


The ‘King of Gonzo journalism’ was a writer you didn’t want to get on the wrong side of. Hunter S. Thompson was notorious for his drug-fueled missives in the pages of Rolling Stone, as well as his penchant for firearms. One of the most notable fights of Thompson’s career was one he lost, when he got the turds whipped out of him by a gang of Hell’s Angels over a book he was writing. The fact that he even survived makes him more bad ass than you.

See the rest at Guyspeed



  1. Shel Silverstein was most definitely a bad ass and totally unapologetic about it. The fact that he wrote "One's On The Way" for Loretta Lynn and "A Boy Named Sue" for Johnny Cash somehow seems incongruous but makes we wish we could share a few beers.

  2. That picture of Roald Dahl gives me the creeps. I always thought of him as a bit twisted around the edges because of some of the things he's written.

    I guess the mugshot ref must have done something illegal and had a penalty called on him. The tables have turned!! :D

  3. Yeah,I don't think I'd want to mess with any of these mofo's!

  4. I don't see my name up there.

  5. Shel always gave me the heebies and you can tell by looking at Roald Dahl that he has seen some pretty scary shit in his life.

    I heard a rumor years ago that John Grisham was quite a barroom brawler but I think he looks too prissy.

  6. I think PortraitOTD is a younger version of MugshotOTD before life kicked his ass around. And quite rightly so.

  7. If any of you read Diary Of A Wimpy Kid with your kids recently you will remember the chapter about how scary Shel Silverstein is and how he is waiting for you in the hallway if you get out of bed at night. That cracked me the fuck up. He is scary.

  8. Most definitely a good list, but you can't forget Ian Fleming, who based a lot of the Bond novels on his own experiences. But he toned them down!

  9. Roald Dahl was married to Patricia Neal, and he wrote some great creepy psycho stories for adults. Check out "Kiss Kiss".



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