Monday, May 14, 2012

WTF Product Of The Day: "Your First Period"

Jesus H. Christ. Really? I'm all for open dialogue, but not this open. From Rachel and Buzzfeed.

Period party invitations

Party plates
"Puberty Rocks" (bullshit!), "Abstinence," "Self-respect." Yeah, self-respect, the kind that should keep you from having this ridiculous party.

Goody bags
Let me guess: mini-pads and chocolate?

Pin The Ovaries On The Uterus game
Other games include Ride The Cotton Pony and
Slam The Bedroom Door Off Its Hinges.

More here.


  1. HA! Who thinks up this nonsense. Don't forget to invite Aunt Flo to the party. Seriously, this whole concept just leaves me seeing red. And is there a similar line of party ware for boys so they can celebrate when they have their first wet dream or when their voice starts to change? :-D

    1. "is there a similar line of party ware for boys so they can celebrate when they have their first wet dream"

      They sell a line of laundry baskets for the occasion.

      Congratulations on be"coming" a man. From now on you'll be doing your own laundry.

  2. I am more glad than ever that I'm a man

  3. OF COURSE they have two testimonials from wack-a-doo's in Texas... I'm in! I'll bring the Bloody Mary's. fml

  4. Does it include a voucher for the therapy they're going to need? I think someone should call Child Protective Services on any mom that has a "Period Party".

  5. Oh, FFS...really, who DOES think this stupid shit up? Starting your period seems neat at the time, when you are ~14 and don't know any better. But, to celebrate it with asinine slogans on plates? Someone needs a serious bitch-slapping.

    What the plates really need to say is things like: "embarrassing bloodstains at school" "birth control expenses" "menstrual cramps from hell" "PITA" "countless pairs of ruined underwear" "bleeding like stuck pig" "PCOD" "Endometriosis" "PMS"- you know, the unglamorous reality of being a female of reproductive age.

    Grrr! Clearly, this pisses me off.

  6. Way to shed that uterine lining, Mary Lou! Let's go to Walmart and pick up a red velvet cake to celebrate!

  7. "It's my party and I'll shed if I want to..."

  8. "You would shed too if it happened to youuu.."

  9. I think that the diagram of the lady parts looks like a ram's head or something. Or an inquisitive blue-eyed whatchamacallit. Wait...isn't that the name of a candy bar? Ewww...

  10. Jeebus, Sonya, chill. What are you...on the rag or something? At least now, doctors will hand out Vikes like candy. In my day, a heating pad and baby aspirin were it. Mmmmmmmm....vikes.....D'oh!

  11. No. I don't fucking think so.

  12. Considering at my peak (about 10 years ago), I was taking Vicodin to stop the pain and using MULTIPLE products so I could have a somewhat normal life...

    I'd like to punch the moron that thought this up in their chick parts (or junk if it's a guy).

  13. And will they still give out the ol' advice about doing yoga stretches to ease the cramps? Because you really feel like moving anything when cramps and lower back pain hits. There has to be some crazy woman who loves celebrating her fertility behind all of this...



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