Thursday, May 17, 2012

Obnoxious "Unattended Children" Signs Of The Day

I'm no fan of unattended kids but damn, I hate stores with passive-aggressive signs like these, probably because they never have just one.

"No smoking."
"No food or drink allowed."
"If you break it, you buy it."
"In God we trust. All others pay cash."
"Restrooms for customers ONLY."
"Do NOT use your cell phone at the register."
"NO REFUNDS without receipt!"
blah blah blah.

I want to go in with a sign that says, "I don't buy stuff from assholes with asshole signs all over their asshole stores."


  1. Where the fuck are the parents of all these "Unattended Children"?? Is this really that big of a problem? How about a sign that says "Oblivious parents will receive a call from CPS."

  2. Unattended children are a problem at the library sometimes. We don't have any signs up like this, but we do have a policy that states kids under the age of 7 must have a parent with them at all times. I think the age ought to be more like 12 or 13. People assume the children's librarian will just babysit their kids while they go off to the store or whatever. I do live in a small town, and it is a small town library, but there are crazy people everywhere. I don't know why parents think it is safe to just drop their children off at the door to a public building where anyone is allowed to be, and they assume that their kids will be safe.

    For kids that are old enough to read, some of the signs in this list I think would be enough to scare some of the youngest ones.

    "Unattended children will be placed on hooks (and tortured)"--wow, that sound like a nice, friendly business. Seems like a good way to drive away customers.

  3. Mugshot guy reminds me a little of the guy with the huge forehead who was all scratched up (Claude, I think you called him?-hahaha!) that you sometimes used as your avatar a few years ago. :-)

  4. Lol... The pawn shop I go to all the time has the "All unattended children will given a shot of espresso and a free puppy" sign. I laugh every time I see it. Those show that the business at least has a sense of humor. The "other" ones, however, just say "Stay the fuck out of here; I don't NEED your money."

  5. Rude store owners shall be publicly shunned and put out of business forthwith.

    They need me more than I need them. Get over yourselves.

  6. I just wonder if they are REALLY prepared to follow through with their threats.... Because I, for one, would like to see what happens when you give a kid an espresso and a puppy.

  7. These places could just simplify things by having a sign that says: "No children allowed in store" Subsequently, business will probably be diminished, but hey, them's the breaks.

    It was my experience at the last service job I worked that it sometimes didn't matter if children were standing right next to their parent - they could still be a problem in the store. Of course, that would actually be a parenting problem...

  8. My lawyer has a sign up that says "Unruly Children Will Be Banished From the Premises" - Complete with a picture of a dinosaur eating a person. Not really sure what to think of that - but I didn't hire him because he is a ray of sunshine, I hired him because he is a mean-ass s.o.b

  9. I once saw a girl playing with a pink "personal adult toy" on a store that doubled as a heavy metal t-shirt and s&m lifestyle supplier. Parents were, as usual, oblivious to this.

  10. I own a gift shop on the beach and have to deal with unattended children constantly. I've had parents get angry at me if I tell their kids to "put that down, please" and a storeroom filled with items destroyed by kids (whose parents beat it out of the place as soon as they see their child has broken something.) People with kids spend the least amount of money in my shop and they refuse to pay for things their children break or ruin. I wish I could ban all children from the store cuz trust me, their parents' business is not gonna make or break me.

    1. Thank you! I own a salon. It is not children, it's their parents. There are sharp implements, poisonous chemicals, and all kinds of ways for a child to get hurt and thousands of dollars worth of equipment around everywhere. Responsible parents that are not oblivious to the things around them are awesome, however, they are unfortunately few and far between! I once had a mother of 3 curse another client out because she got a babysitter so she could relax at her appointment and the other woman's child was running amuck and ruining her experience.

  11. Typical responses from people who have never been sued by the parents of an unattended child, hurt in a business. If the parents are not watching then the business owner must. That makes it difficult to help other customer. Again showing how selfish these parents to be. Depending on the type of business you own, you do not need their business and actually find that they are a detriment to business.
    This is really not that difficult, control your kids. If not, you will be asked to leave. You see, I have plenty of customers, its the increase to my liability insurance that will drive me out of business.

  12. I work in a salon and we have had our fair share of shock watching many parents cut their children loose as if all of us are babysitters. It's unfortunate for the clients trying to relax and enjoy themselves, have to experience a parent who is clueless or feels entitled - who ignores our request to keeping children without appointments home. It's crazy! So since the signs don't mean anything to anyone these days- they get a verbal response unfiltered..



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