Monday, May 7, 2012

News of The Day: Ball Busted

Good. I hate those stupid things. From The Smoking Gun.



Pair Of "Large Fleshy Testicles" Results In Arrest Of South Carolina Resident

A “pair of large fleshy testicles” led to the arrest last night of a South Carolina motorist, according to police.

While on routine patrol, a Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office deputy spotted a Lincoln pickup truck “displaying an obscene object from the rear bumper.”

Specifically, the deputy noted in a report, the object was a pair of testicles that were “flesh colored, anatomically correct, approximately the size of a softball, and in clear view of the public.”

In response to the testicles, the deputy initiated a traffic stop and questioned the driver, Joe Cervantes-Rodriguez. The cop “advised the driver of the reason for the stop being the large testicles, and he immediately removed them from the back bumper.”

Cervantes-Rodriguez told the deputy that he had moved to the U.S. six months ago from Mexico and had ended up in South Carolina after stays in Texas and Georgia.

But while able to produce a vehicle registration and proof of insurance, Cervantes-Rodriguez did not have a valid driver’s license. As a result, he was arrested.

After spending the night in jail, Cervantes-Rodriguez (seen in the above mug shot) was released from custody this morning after posting $237.50 bond.

He was also issued a “warning citation” for displaying the testicles.


7 comments:

  1. Truck Nuts. Conan did a piece on these things awhile back.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Goodness, Spartanburg is only about 10 miles from me. It is a good thing they don't ever drive north on I-85. I live in Gaffney, and we have this... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peachoid (If you can't see the link, it is a huge water tower that is shaped and painted like a peach.....but most people think it looks like a big butt.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Specifically, the deputy noted in a report, the object was a pair of testicles that were “flesh colored, anatomically correct, approximately the size of a softball, and in clear view of the public.”

    Okay...either they're anatomically correct, or the size of a softball, it can't be both.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes, put giant testicles on your truck. Instant woman-repeller. Dumbass.

    ReplyDelete

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