Wednesday, March 14, 2012

News Story Of The Day: Blame It On The Beebs

From The Smoking Gun.

Busted Man Says Injury Caused By Justin Bieber Doll

MARCH 12--A cop who was arrested for assaulting his live-in girlfriend claimed that the victim had attacked him with a Justin Bieber doll during a confrontation in the couple’s Colorado home.

Michael Nuanes, 37, described his girlfriend as the aggressor in the January incident, according to an Adams County Sheriff’s Office affidavit.

Nuanes, a Denver Police Department officer, told deputies that his girlfriend had “thrown things, pushed him, shoved him, grabbed him, bit him, slapped him with an open hand, attempted to strangle him and beat him up.”

Nuanes, investigators reported, “pointed out a ‘Justin Beiber’ doll which was the item used to injure him.” He claimed that the thrown Bieber doll--the size of a standard Barbie doll--left him with a “bruise on the outside middle part” of his left foot.

When cops interviewed the 42-year-old victim, she reported that Nuanes picked a fight with her over “ultimatums” that included her changing her Facebook status to indicate that she was in a relationship with Nuanes.

During a subsequent tussle, the woman told deputies, Nuanes grabbed her by the hair, threw her to the ground, and punched her in the ribs. A deputy photographed the victim’s injuries, which included bruises on her head, back, arm, and chest.

Nuanes was charged with domestic violence and criminal mischief. He was also named in a mandatory protection order barring him from contacting the victim.

Since he was also ordered not to possess a firearm, Nuanes has been placed on desk duty by Denver police brass.


  1. I used to blame it on the boogie, but now I blame it on the Beibs. Thanks, LOTD!

  2. Sounds like they should have blamed it on the Facebook relationship status problem to me. It's kind of amusing to think of a burly cop complaining about being hit in the foot by a doll, but obviously there was more to it than just that. Probably plenty of blame to go around. It's hard to know who really started the fight and how much was out of self defense on both sides.

  3. Egg with glasses--hahaha! I'm guessing he's a rotten egg instead of a good one since that's a mugshot. :D

  4. So, he smacks her around and leaves bruises, etc, but HE calls the cops because a doll lands on his foot and gives him an owie.

    Yeah, good use of police time there.

    Your POTD looks like a chrysanthemum. I'm sorry to say, but my senior portrait shows me wearing hair very similar to this...



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