Ha! Knowledge is power! :-D
Mind you don't get those claws near your wobbly bits.
Behold my flying nunchucks of butter!!
Enough of #1 from that picture and any idea sounds brilliant.Like para-sailing from your roof with an improvised parachute made from your neighbor's golf umbrella.1.) It doesn't end well.2.) Beer only kills the pain until you begin to sober up.3.) Your neighbor will be really angry you turned his umbrella into a twisted pile of metal permanently embedded into your backyard.4.) You will pee yourself. NO EXCEPTIONS.4a.) Paramedics will laugh at you when you try and explain how you ended up a crumpled heap with soggy boxers.