Friday, October 28, 2011
From Keith and Gothamist.
An area man who calls himself Mister PeePee has dedicated himself to exploring the unlimited erotic potential of the Starbucks bathroom.
Starbucks Gossip says this gentleman has made a podcast [since removed?] describing his mission to masturbate in every Starbucks bathroom in New York City, and rate the results. That's over 298 rub outs!
"Today's Starbucks visit is rated as a 4 Boner," the chronic masturbator wrote on Twitter. "Spacious, clean, excellent coffee, strong wifi, no interruptions & 1 hot chick."
But that review dates back to December, and since then he has yet to file anything more than terse updates about which Starbucks he's currently, uh, enjoying.
Come on Mister PeePee, don't be such a tease! The world wants to know all about your masturbation. Particularly, the world would like to know your name, you creepy perv.
According to a Yale University study cited by Salon.com and Crayola.
At first glance I saw baby powder and cigarette butts back to back and thought for a split second that they'd listed "baby butts."
"Yep," I thought to myself, "That's a recognizable scent all right."
The first time I changed my child's diaper was an eye-opening (and sinus-opening) event. I was one of those guys who had never changed one before. I opened up that newborn Pampers and nearly shit my own pants.
I asked my wife, "Did she have a sloppy Joe for breakfast?"
And the smell. Sweet hot Jesus.
"Is that normal?" I said. "I think she might be sick or something."
She laughed. "Nope. Normal."
"Dang. That ain't right. She gonna be doing this a lot?"
"Yep," says the Mrs. "And so are you."
2. Peanut butter
3. Vicks VapoRub
5. Wintergreen oil
6. Baby powder
7. Cigarette butts
9. Dry cat food
11. Ivory bar soap
12. Juicy Fruit gum
I'll add some.
22. Napalm in the morning (thanks, Lefty)
26. Vehicle emissions (thanks, Sarah)