Thursday, September 29, 2011
HOW TO POOP AT WORK
It's a sad inevitability. No matter how hard you try, how accurately you plan, how much you control what you eat, it's going to happen at some point: you will have to poop at work. It's where the biological meets the professional and it's always, pardon the expression, a shit show. Let's try to make it easier, shall we?
As the children's book tells us, everyone poops, and everyone has to work, but while we have to work together it doesn't mean we have to poop together, or at least acknowledge that we are all pooping in the same place. It's the great unspoken occurrence of the workplace (unless your office has some crazy rogue nasty pooper or something).
So, here are some easy rules to follow so you can drop the deuce without ruining your professional reputation.
(Read it at Gawker)
An amusing list from FOLOTD Lindsey, who has no blog but asks instead that you visit the Camp Sunshine website in honor of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Thanks.
10. GHOST RIDER
Who were they kidding? I don’t care what wig you put on him, Nicholas Cage cannot look younger than 57.
Not even Cher would go for a guy with hair like this.
8. PEGGY SUE GOT MARRIED
The hair… the voice… just NO.
If he’s a magician then why can’t he conjure up a better 'do?
6. BANGKOK DANGEROUS
The only dangerous thing about this movie is the fact that his hair would catch on fire from a spark ten feet away.
Not only is this wig reminiscent of pubic hair but we had to see it on not one but TWO characters since Cage played twins Charlie and Donald Kaufman. Double party foul.
4. THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE
I guess this wig was supposed to make him look mystical and sorcerer-like but it just made him look homeless.
3. SEASON OF THE WITCH
Nicholas was meant to look knightly while galloping on a horse with his long flowing locks. Mission not accomplished.
2. DRIVE ANGRY
He escapes from Hell to avenge his daughter’s death… too bad his hair stayed behind!
1. CON AIR
As convict-with-a-heart-of-gold Cameron Poe, Cage proves once again that criminals always wear mullets and wifebeater tank tops.
We'll give Nic the final word: