Vid Of The Day: Introductions

"Who are you?!"

A great find from Jennifer-Dove.

10 People From Your Past Who Will Haunt You On Facebook

I was looking at one of my h.s. yearbooks the other day and read this note from a dear old friend (misspellings and all):

"Hey C-man! Was this a GREAT year or WHAT? You made Trigg tolerible. I'll never forget the raisins. Kincaid will miss us next year. You're a rad dude. Stay cool. Friends forever, Steve"

Yeah, friends forever, Steve -- whoever da fuck you are. I have zero recollection of Steve. None. Not a clue. Nor do I remember any raisin capers with this Steve or anyone else.

I looked up all the Steves in my class -- there were three -- and I knew none of them (my school was huge). I remember Trig, I remember Mrs. Kincaid, I don't remember Steve. Maybe someone was playing me. I hope so. I don't want Steve to find me on Facebook and have to pretend I remember him and all the tomfoolery we had in Trig with dried fruit.

From Cracked.com.


THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS



What They'll Say:

"Dear all,

It's with deep regret that I must inform you that our friend from high school, Gordon Porgle, was involved in a car accident.

You may remember Gordon as the quiet person who would spend his time in the library rather than waste his time with us outside. One of my favorite memories of Gordon was that time at the school talent quest when he played GnR on the classical piano. It was hilarious.

He is in intensive care, but is expected to make a full recovery. I will be sending a card soon. If you would like your name to be included, please let me know."

What They'll Really Mean: I've atoned for being an asshole at high school by caring about the uncool kid. I'm better than you.


NEVER MOVED ON FROM HIGH SCHOOL



What They'll Say:

"Hi all!

This is just an update for everybody about the reunion. I'm still waiting for a few people to get back to me about when the best time is, but it's looking like it'll be held between Jan and June.

I've found a few more people from class and added them to the list. If this is the first time you've received one of these emails, some of us who are still in the old neighbourhood will be hiring out the gymnasium at the high school for a get together.

Please let me know when you can make it back to town.

Thanks! Jools"

What They'll Really Mean: Remember how I was popular in high school? I'm better than you.


THE NUTJOB



What They'll Say:

"Good friend from a yesteryear passing.

I was simply running my tired eyes over the complexities of human existence in the electronic age − fashion, dot-coms, recipe indexes − when I stumble across the musings of a brother from the past.

It is with great pleasure that I share the love of God with you and offer you my shankra. The sublime Lord has allowed love of humans to spread as energy, which is why He/She (?) allowed the Network of Hope to be created.

I am floating an egg for you and hope you will share with me your comings and goings; toings and frowings; wins and deaths, so we shall once again share."

What They'll Really Mean: I'm in a cult and we're recruiting new members.


(List continues at Cracked)

Vid Of The Day: Reporter, Interrupted

Somebody picked the wrong place and time to do a live segment. Her loss is our gain.