From The Smoking Gun.
Indiana Cops Bust Man Wearing Only Olive Oil
MAY 26--Responding to a call about a naked guy sunbathing, cops in Mishawaka, Indiana arrived at a local park Tuesday afternoon to discover a smiling Michael Donte Booth in the altogether.
His nudity “was deliberate and not a wardrobe malfunction,” police concluded, according to an arrest report.
A survey of the crime scene determined that Booth’s shorts and underwear were several feet away from the blanket upon which he was laying on his back “with his entire genitals showing.” Nearby, officers found the book “Gay Power,” a “Kroger bottle of extra virgin olive oil,” two cans of Miller beer, and Marlboro cigarettes.
“Sweating all over his body,” Booth, 26, appeared to have drizzled himself with the olive oil. While his clothes smelled of marijuana, no contraband was recovered by cops, who noted that the suspect was “acting very unusual.”
Booth, who “kept smiling wide eyed at officers,” told police, “I’m from New York. Can’t I do this here?” He continued, “I’m a Republican and the cigarettes pay your taxes.”
In response to those nonsensical observations, officers “quickly detained him in cuffs and using the blanket for cover inside a police mechanical.”
Though it can be a very permissive place, Gotham still considers full-frontal sunbathing to be illegal, despite the contention of Booth, a “jazz/lounge/R&B” singer whose MySpace page features him covering Dinah Washington and Dionne Warwick. Booth, who uses the handle “A New Diva,” can also be seen in a YouTube video channeling Peggy Lee.
Along with public indecency and public intoxicaton charges, Booth was hit with a third misdemeanor count, “false informing,” for initially lying to officers about his identity.
He is being held in the St. Joseph County Jail in lieu of $200 bond.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
From The Smoking Gun.
Great moments in family, school, professional, boudoir and other regrettable portrait photography.
Guy on left: Dammit, I can do this.
Guy on right: What the fuck was I thinking?
And everyone was surprised when the kid in red died.
A stone's throw from Douchebag Blvd.
Chad and his Chippenmullet
Pizza delivery tips?
Hurry up and take the pic so I can pull this sword out of my foot.
Ha, I remember when matching outfits were cool. Wait, no I don't.
Even the monkey knows this is bullshit.
He's a one-man dorkpack
Two guesses what they did on prom night.
Justin wasn't about to let a studio fire keep him from playing some jazz.
They wanted something classy for their anniversary.
Hair by Scotch-Gard
I bet they have this on their living room wall.
Would you like to pet my little birdie?
I can relate, which is probably why this cracks me up so much. From Urban Dictionary.
"This guy knows what I'm talking about"
An expression used to diffuse responsibility for an unpopular statement made in a public setting. Typically used to imply complicity or collusion on the part of an unwilling stranger.
You: I mean, really, who hasn't made out with a rundown fat chick in a moment of drunken desperation.
You: *smile and point to a random guy in the crowd* This guy knows what I'm talking about.