Friday, May 27, 2011

LOTD Taglines Of The Day

Sometimes it's the simple things. One of my favorite parts of doing this blog is coming up with a random tagline each day. If you've ever wondered what some of them mean, I'll tell you. A lot of these are well-known; others are not.

Pret-ty sneaky sis (70s commercial for the game Connect Four)

Don’t drink the milk. Why? It’s spoiled. (The Little Rascals)

It’s quiet. Too quiet. (random line from every action movie)

I used to be full of piss and vinegar. Now I’m just full of vinegar. (Simpsons)

Circling Uranus in search of Klingons (old joke punchline)

No comprende, it’s a riddle (80s song "Mexican Radio")

We got 3 flies, we got 5 flies (this NSFW video)

Not gettin’ hassled, not getting’ hustled ("Good Times" theme song)

The heck do ya mean? (Fargo)

Never give up. Never slow down. Never grow old. Never ever die young ("Never Die Young," one of James Taylor's lesser-known songs and one of my favorites. A song
with beautiful lyrics about love that endures despite hardship, at least as I choose to interpret it.)

Friends to the end. This is the end, friend. (Something my granddad used to say)

So many social engagements, so little time (Raising Arizona)

It’s just a flesh wound (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Ribbed for her pleasure (condom ad line)

In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife (classic commercial for the ginsu knife)

The price is wrong, bitch (Happy Gilmore)

How's that Ciera working out for ya? (Fargo)

You talking to me? (Taxi Driver)

You’re soaking in it (old commercial for Palmolive dish soap)

Well it ain’t Ozzie & Harriet (Raising Arizona)

Tell ‘em Large Marge sent ya (Pee Wee's Big Adventure)

I hear the voices in my head, I swear to God it sounds like they’re snoring ("Flagpole Sitta" - Harvey Danger)

Keep coming back. It works if you work it. (AA mantra)

Uno dos tres cautro cinco cinco seis ("Pretty Fly For A White Guy" - Offspring)

I bet you never smelled a real bus before (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

A companion unobtrusive ("Spirit Of Radio" - Rush)

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball (SNL commercial spoof)

The gators got your granny.. chomp chomp chomp (old song "Poke Salad Annie")

For that not-so-fresh feeling (classic Summer's Eve douche commercial, which I would link if I could find the right one, but I can't)

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss. ("Won't Get Fooled Again" - The Who)

Beat on the brat with a baseball bat ("Beat On The Brat" - Ramones)

The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here! (The Jerk)

You are blind as a bat and I have sight (classic SNL clip with Joe Piscopo as Sinatra and Eddie Murphy as Stevie Wonder)

Every Halloween the trees are filled with underwear, every spring the toilets explode (Animal House)

Mind the gap (sign on London Underground platforms)

If you could see it then you’d understand ("Speed Of Sound" - Coldplay)

Do you wanna find alligator cowboy boots that just went on sale? ("Polyester Bride" - Liz Phair)

The beer we’ll pour must say something more somehow (old commercial for Lowenbrau beer)

Because of the wonderful things he does (The Wizard Of Oz)

Hey good lookin’, we’ll be back to pick you up later! (70s commercial for Mr. Microphone)

Smiles, everyone, smiles (weekly line from Mr. Roarke in "Fantasy Island" TV show)

Crack a smile and cut your mouth and drown in alcohol ("Burden In My Hand" - Soundgarden

My name is Otto. It means eight. (A Fish Called Wanda)

It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature (70s commercial for Chiffon margarine)

Look up. Look down. Look out. Look around. ("It Can Happen To You" - Yes)

Tickle your ass with a feather? (Up The Academy)

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo ("Big Bottoms" - Spinal Tap)

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. (The Big Lebowski)

All my exes live in Texas (country song by George Strait)

Show us your O face (variation of Office Space line)

Shut your festering gob, you tit! (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave (Madagascar)

Hey lady, what you say, how about some funk today? ("Alligator Woman" - Cameo)

It hurts me more than it hurts you (lie told by parents right before they spank their kids)

Can’t touch this (MC Hammer)

Let me hear your body talk ("Physical" - Olivia Newton John)

You know forks were invented so that man could at least make a pretense of separating himself from the apes. (Overboard)

Me and my machine for the rest of the morning ("Millworker" - James Taylor)

Just go and lay your hand on a Pittsburgh Steelers fan (just one of the many utterly inane lyrics from the unbelievably awful Charlie Daniels' song, "In America")

Clowns never laughed before. Beanstalks never grew. ("The Brady Bunch")

Do it for Johnny! (The Outsiders)

Let the wild rumpus start (Where The Wild Things Are)

If we don’t get some cool rules of our own, pronto, we’ll just be bogus, too (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)

Meanwhile, back at stately Wayne Manor… (frequent line in 60s "Batman" TV series)

A way to shield the hated heat ("Driver 8" - REM)

Gonna buy five copies for my mother ("Cover Of The Rolling Stone" - Dr. Hook)

Wrong way on a one-way track ("Runaway Train" - Soul Asylum)

O elders, fleet and strong and wise, appear before my seeking eyes (70s TV show "Shazam!")

For a nickel I will (punchline to an old joke)

Long-haired freaky people need not apply ("Signs" - Five Man Electrical Band)

You must be this tall to ride (amusement park sign)

“PC Load Letter” What the fuck does that mean? (Office Space)

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it (what wives say to husbands)

Mom always said don’t play ball in the house ("The Brady Bunch")

Yippee-ki-yay, motherf**ker (Die Hard)

Will there be TP there? (Cornholio line in "Beavis & Butthead")

Pain don’t hurt (Road House)

I know you’re out there, I can hear you breathing (line comedians use when they're tanking)

So money and we don’t even know it (Swingers)

My friends call me Lenny, but I got no friends. (Raising Arizona)

The head, the tail, the whole damn thing (Jaws)

Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases your blues away ("I've Got Friends In Low Places" - Garth Brooks)

We don’t need no stinkin’ badges (oft misquoted line from Treasure Of The Sierra Madre)

While supplies last (commercial tagline)

Livin’ the dream (just a line people say)

This aggression will not stand, man (The Big Lebowski)

Wax on, wax off (The Karate Kid)

See if you can guess what I am now (Animal House)

You sure got a purty mouth (a disturbing scene in Deliverance that I won't like you to. You're welcome.)

Hey, smell this (something people say to trick you into smelling something foul)

Is it safe? (very disturbing scene in 70s movie Marathon Man)

Hey Mikey! He likes it! (70s commercial for Life cereal)

My god, it’s full of stars (2001: A Space Odyssey)

Goes to 11 (variation of a line from This Is Spinal Tap)

Putting covers on all TPS reports now (variation of Office Space line)

What’s with you, cueball? I’m lookin’ at you and thinkin’, 14 in the side pocket (SNL: Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra to Jan Hooks as Sinead O'Connor)

Round up the usual suspects (Casablanca)

You had to be there (what people say when a story fails to impress)

Come to the Honeycomb Hideout (70s commercial for Honeycomb cereal)

Try our new fixin’s bar (something you see in ads for Shoney's or steakhouses where they put little plastic tabs in the steak to tell you how well it's done)

I’m real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky (Better Off Dead)

I gotta sleep under some Chinaman named after a duck's dork. (Sixteen Candles)

Philomath is where I’ll go, by Joe ("Can't Get There From Here" - REM. Philomath is a tiny little town near Athens, GA)

Thank you, sir, may I have another? (Animal House)

Is this thing on? (classic line from tanking comedians to microphone)

Assume the position (Animal House)

Here come the hammer (MC Hammer song)

Now available in stupid (random line I made up)

May cause anal leakage (actual warning on products made with Olestra)

Have a beer. Don’t cost nothin’ (Animal House)

“Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?” (classic joke punchline)

Guests of LOTD stay at the Essex House, overlooking Central Park (old SNL line)

Just step aside or you might end up in a heap (line from "Road Runner" theme song)

Games, Jake. Silly torturous games. (Sixteen Candles)

You gonna eat that? (something indiscriminate eaters say to other eaters who don't finish a meal)

What’s in the box? (Se7en)

I know that’s right (random)

Guilty feet = no rhythm (my interpretation of a line from "Never Gonna Dance Again" by George Michael)

She loves to move. She loves to groove. She loves the lovin’ things. ("Any Way You Want It" - Journey)

Abandon hope, all ye who enter (classic line from Dante's Divine Comedy)

Jeetyet? (something country folk say when they want to feed you)

Take it easy, man, there’s a beverage here! (The Big Lebowski)

With refills you can make Bugs Bunny or Bozo The Clown (line from old Lite Brite toy commercial)

Just a little pin prick ("Comfortably Numb" - Pink Floyd)

Release the hounds (The Simpsons)

Liquor in the front, poker in the rear (random)

Two lost souls livin’ in a fish bowl, year after year ("Wish You Were Here" - Pink Floyd)

Stay gold, Ponyboy (line from The Outsiders) and the scene it references)

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