Well... they're having fun, at least.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
From Spinderfella and Candy Addict.
White Chocolate Maggots
White chocolate is nasty by itself; shape it like a maggot and you've got a winner. They look more like grubs than maggots--not that it really matters.
Strap the plastic nose dispenser to your face and catch the oozing candy slime with your tongue, like you used to do when you were three.
Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans
These aren't as nasty as they sound. They are much, much worse.
Ear Wax Candy
Yes, ear wax candy. It’s a plastic ear filled with a fruity jelly-like candy that resembles ear wax. It even comes with a plastic “swab” to use to dig out the candy. Yum!
They come on an adhesive bandage replica that sticks to skin and encloses a candy ‘scab’ for licking so you can keep some candy on you (hidden) for licking any time.
See the rest of them here, but before you go, I'd like to add some to the list. These aren't quite as bad as candy snot and maggots, but they're close.
Who eats these? Nobody, that's who. I wish they were real circus peanuts. I'd love to watch a trainer give these to his elephants and see what happens. I'd take video of it, too, because TruTV pays good money for that kind of carnage.
"Made with caramel, peanut and almond nougat covered with delicious white fudge." What the fuck is a nougat? Looks like a week-old dog turd and probably tastes like one, too.
More like NecRo wafers--candy only dead people would eat, because their taste buds don't work anymore. Want your house TP'd on Halloween? Give these out.
Worst. Bubble. Gum. Ever. Hard as a rock. Tastes like shit. Flavor lasts about 15 seconds if you're lucky. Responsible for almost as much dental work as Sugar Daddy suckers.
A mixture of marshmallow, gelatin and wax shaped into tiny chickens. *gag* I can't even look at these things.
Boston Baked Beans
I used to go to a movie theater that had these as a candy selection. Once I asked a guy behind the counter if anyone ever bought them. He said, and I quote verbatim, "We haven't sold those for years. Nobody ever bought them. I'm not sure why the box is still in there. It might be stuck to the glass."
Whether or not it was a good relationship, you should learn something from every one. At least, that's what an ex-girlfriend taught me. What have you learned from past relationships?
- Liquid soap does not leave behind soap scum.
- "No" means "no," but "It's nothing" means "It's you."
- In S&M role play, "Harder!" is a bad choice for a safe word.
But if it gets in her hair, she's gonna be pissed.
Is that Alaskan King Crap?
Drink wong, Lo Kat, drink wong.
She owns it, I'll give her that.
Your internet porn headquarters.
The brind leading the brind
Shinjuku = Death Star
Those are some harsh browns, man.
You so gramorous, Bambi!
Correct. Do not try to experience it. You will be sorry.
Uh, I'll have the pizza.
Roak out with your coak out
The thong's what?