Monday, March 28, 2011

Creepiest Kids' Book Author Photos Of The Day

From Maxim.com.

SHEL SILVERSTEIN


Think twice about handing off a copy of The Giving Tree to a precocious tot; it's one of the few classic children's tomes still in print to feature a giant, frightening visage of its owner on the back cover. We're not sure if Shel just got out of prison, or if he just smelled onions.

MAURICE SENDAK

Current printings of Where the Wild Things Are have removed the author photo of Sendak -- a wise move. The man is absolutely terrifying, and he's still as cantankerous as ever. In a recent interview, when asked whether or not he had anything to say to parents who find Wild Things too unsettling for children, Sendak said they could "go to hell."

R.L. STINE

From the looks of the slightly uncomfortable Stine, a working title for his Goosebumps series could have been "Moley Moles." We're sure R.L.'s a nice (albeit unsmiling) guy and all, but giant moles are plenty scary to 7-year-olds. Can't...look...away...

DR. SEUSS

It's one thing to hop on Pop; it's another thing altogether to hunt and kill the creatures you created for your own amusement, then display their heads as trophies. That's our only explanation for what transpired here. The man was a doctor of death, apparently.

A.A. MILNE

We sincerely hope that's the daughter of the famous Winnie the Pooh creator seated on his lap. "Oh bother," indeed.

ROALD DAHL

The rumored white supremacist could've based Slugworth from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on his own likeness. Why so glum, chum? This must be the face of a man who spent a lifetime without candy. We hear his next book in the Charlie series was to be called Charlie Runs Out for a Pack of Smokes.

RUDYARD KIPLING

We'll cut the Jungle Book author some slack on his lack of a cheery countenance, since this shot was taken during an era when photographs were believed to steal part of your soul. But damn, what's up with those eyebrows?

See more at Maxim.com.

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: GTFOOTW



best of craigslist > akron-canton


stop-and-talkers at the acme #1


Date: 2009-03-29, 1:47PM EDT
Hey, so you ran into an old friend did you? Or the big sale on all cuts of beef has you in a frenzy? Can't decide which granola looks the best?

Well GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY.


I swear, I see people standing dead center in a main aisleway, carts nose-to-nose SIDEWAYS, completely blocking everyone's path, yakking about everything from soccer to the economy.

WE'RE HERE TO BUY SHIT AND GO HOME DUMBASSES. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY.


See, some of us will park our carts in an inconspicuous location while considering our purchases, because we're considerate of others. Not you.

No, you need to stop and talk. Right in the middle of the lane. You couldn't possibly NOT notice that everyone is running into your carts while trying to squeeze past your idiotic fat ass.

So I guess you just don't give a shit. I also know damn well that you heard me mutter, "fucking morons" as I ran into your cart while squeezing past.

What the hell is wrong with you???


Oh, and how about you moms who like to march up the aisle with all 12 of your little heathens lined up like you're a moving defensive line in a game of red rover?

SINGLE FILE, PEOPLE! Line those bastards up, and move 'em out.

Furthermore, if you want to stand and gawk at the islands set up just inside the lobby, how about you do that BEFORE grabbing a cart and proceeding to jackknife the whole damn entrance?

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY.


The very sight of a cart in the bread aisle makes me want to punch you in your clueless face. That aisle is barely big enough for people to traverse, much less push carts. So park it somewhere else while you grab your bread.

What, are you buying so many loaves that your arms can't handle the 20 foot commute?

Afraid your cart will be stolen by someone who noticed your cart was already filled with all the items on his/her list and figured walking away with your cart was so much more appealing than going and picking out his own sardines and pop tarts?

Well heaven forbid YOUR time should be wasted at the store.


To all stop-and-talkers, stop-and-gawkers, and moms shopping with armies:
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY.


Product Of The Day: Better Marriage Blanket

All this means is more Dutch ovens.


Honest Movie Posters of the Day

Funny stuff from Cracked.com.

--Bev




















See them all here.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails