Wednesday, March 16, 2011

8 Sex Myths You Shouldn't Believe (Of The Day)

Hard to believe that anyone in the 21st century still thinks like this, but hey, it's from Fox News, and if they say it, then by god it must be 100% true, right? My only contributions are the notes in italics and a couple of additional myths at the end.

From Audra, who was as amused by this goofy 1950's-sounding list as I was.

They come up time and time again, those seemingly credible bits about sex that consumer magazines love to regurgitate. Many have been around for so long that they’ve become accepted as truth, but they are not. Here are eight of the most enduring sex myths.

1. A female is not a virgin if she does not have a hymen.

Societies around the world still believe that an intact hymen is proof of a woman's virginity (or fugliness). In these cultures, “chaste” women are ones who can be married off. What they don’t know is that some females can stretch or break their hymens through a variety of activities, like sports (Zumba) or tampon use. Furthermore, many hymens are merely stretched – not torn – during first-time intercourse (with a midget).

2. Men are more visually stimulated than women.

A study in the journal Brain Research indicates otherwise. Researchers measured the brainwave activity of women viewing slides of erotic and non-erotic images. Naturally, the brainwave activity became markedly different with the erotic slides. But what threw off researchers is that the female participants responded as strongly as men do to such imagery (i.e. we're all repulsed by the sight of hairy, sweaty balls.)

3. Only women can have multiple orgasms.

Females are not alone; men too can experience several non-ejaculatory orgasms in a row during a single sex session. This happens when: (A) a man has strengthened his pelvic muscles for greater control (by having an office on the other end of the building from the bathroom); (B) he has learned to back off from the “point of ejaculatory inevitability,” making his ultimate orgasm even stronger; or (C) he's been spankin' it so much that there's nothing left to ejaculate.

(Wait. Women have orgasms? Huh. Learn something new every day.)

4. Being uncircumcised is unhygienic.

For decades, parents in the U.S. have been circumcising their infant sons in the name of cleanliness. Only recently have parents started to second-guess the idea (blood and screaming can have that effect). As long as the foreskin is retracted during bathing, uncircumcised males are no more likely than circumcised males to develop problems with their penis caused by poor hygiene. (They are, however, more likely to be called "Sausage Dick" or "Ol' Turtlehead by other 14-year-olds in the gym shower.)

5. A woman must be in love to climax.


6. Men do not have sensitive nipples.

Lots of men have nipples that are sensitive, if not very sensitive. While society tends to regard this erogenous zone as one for a lady’s pleasuring, some men’s nipples are more sensitive than a woman’s. Likewise, not all women have sensitive nipples (because plucking hair from them every day can cause loss of feeling.)

7. A woman must have an orgasm in order to conceive.

Not true, of course. However, British biologists found that when a woman has an orgasm from one minute before to 45 minutes after her partner (goes to sleep), she retains a much greater amount of sperm than she does after non-orgasmic sex. Muscular contractions associated with orgasm pull the sperm into the cervix, making fertilization more likely.

(A woman must have an orgasm, however, in order to go out with you again.)

8. Men’s members need to be handled with care.

(Member? Who uses that word besides Penthouse Forum?)

Just about any bloke will tell you that while his valuables are just that –- valuable –- he can handle a bit of (wo)manhandling. The key to figuring out just how much he can take, and where, is that matter of communication ("Watch the goddamn teeth!!" for example). Lovers need to talk about what grips, touches, and tugs feel good, especially since every guy is unique.


Ok, I'll add a few:

9. Women like to be slapped on the ass and have their hair pulled during sex

Not all of them. One does, but she was the exception, not the rule, and I think she was just really excited about being at her first Cubs game.

10. Guys get hornier when they drink

Yes and no. Most guys do tend to get frisky after an adult beverage or two, but when you finally tear them away from the bar after ten more of those beverages, closing the sale becomes a problem... not of desire, but of ability. See: whiskey dick.

11. Guys love it when you put your finger up their butt

Some do, some don't. Better to ask first, because if you do it to a guy who doesn't want it, you will lose that finger when his sphincter clamps shut with the force of a steel trap.

Any others you'd like to add?

Vid Of The Day: Blow

It's a fine line between terrified and amused.

News Story Of The Day: Sonic Wanker

Hey, I like Sonic, too, but this is ridiculous.

Cops Bust Man Who Pleasured Self While Standing In Sonic Drive-Thru Lane

An Oklahoma man who stood masturbating in the drive-thru lane at a Sonic restaurant has been arrested for his illicit eight-minute display, which transpired in full view of a female worker and a surveillance camera.

Kevin Ferrier, 19, was collared yesterday for indecent exposure after video of his alleged March 2 performance outside the eatery was released by Tulsa cops and broadcast by local news stations.

According to a Tulsa Police Department report, the female Sonic employee told investigators that a male “exposed himself and masturbated in front of her as she was working the window of the drive through.”

Ferrier, pictured above, was arrested yesterday afternoon at his Tulsa home on the felony charge. He was released from custody early last night after posting $5000 bond.

Timekiller Of The Day

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Corporate Logo Spoofs Of The Day

These remind me of my beloved Wacky Packages.


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