Monday, March 7, 2011

Celebrity Gossip Of The Day

Rob Schneider should be glad anyone is mentioning him at all.

From Popbitch (UK).


TOO POSH TO FLUSH. From D: "Back in the late 80's I was working in construction in New York and my wife got a job as Diana Ross's housekeeper, at her very plush apartment off 5th Avenue. Among her responsibilities was to flush the toilet after Diana had finished her number twos."


Rob Schneider recently did a stand-up show in Singapore. This is what one of the helpers there told us about him:

* Shorter than expected? CHECK
* Balding and wearing a ridiculous beret to cover this up? CHECK
* Insanely hot girlfriend that he would never get if he wasn't a 'star'? CHECK
* Asking you a question and then ignoring the answer? CHECK
* Belittling the local comedians he invited to perform as guests for not being funny enough? CHECK
* Berating same comics
after they went on for being 'too funny', making his job harder? CHECK
* Shouting catchphrases from one his movies and adding 'Singapore' to the end of it literally from the word go? "You can do it, Singapore"? CHECK
* Sleepwalking through his gig as though he was only doing it for the money? CHECK


Which member of Snow Patrol has been known to warn his lucky conquests that he has a small penis? (We're told, "It is, but it was an okay ride, anyway")

Celebrity Extreme Close-Ups of the Day

The Chive says these pics have not been Photoshopped. These A-listers are clearly wearing make up, but even so... I think they still look pretty good! What do you think?

--Bev

George Clooney


Paris Hilton

Pretty girl. Vacant eyes. *shiver*

Barack Obama


Bill Murray


Helen Mirren


Angelina Jolie


Jack Nicholson


Clint Eastwood


Christopher Walken

Wait, when did he become a snake? Chrissssssstopher.

See them all here.


Street Sign Of The Day

In case you missed it on Facebook. From Lefty.


Vid Of The Day: Breast Staring Contest

Are we really this obvious? Jeez.

A long video but you'll get the idea within a few seconds. From Remi.


February Mugshot Roundup

Your monthly lineup of FAIL.


Luther suddenly came to the sad stark realization that his pirate days were over.


She just saw what we're seeing.


No, that's not Fat Albert. That's his big brother, Colossal Curtis.


So Velma sold a little weed out of the Mystery Machine to make ends meet between cases. Is that so wrong?



Tickets please. Okay, you're in Block 2, Cell 14. That's gonna be up the stairs to your left, 5th cell over. Enjoy your stay.


Did you say BISCUITS?!


Is that Lynyrd or Skynyrd? I get them mixed up.


Hork in 3...2....1....


Well that was easy. Next.


It's about time they held someone accountable for cafeteria food.


Got any gum?


Congratulations. Feel free not to tell us another word about it.




Grandmullet


Talk to the beard cuz the glasses ain't listening


OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!


Prince's cousin, Knave


Bubbles told you to hide before she made bond. You should have listened.


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