If you want to keep someone guessing as to what your true feelings are on Valentine's Day, these creepy vintage Valentine cards should do the trick. There are lots more where these came from at ChicagoNow. ~posted by Daisy
Happy Valentine's Day, my Precious, from Gollum.
Remember me? I'm the one who's been stalking you for weeks.
Nothing says, "I love you" quite like a basket full of dead rodents.
Happy Valentine's Day from Carmen Miranda and her monkey.
Don't let him slip you the tongue. (Clowns taste funny, you know.) --a special one for Lefty
Keep your duckydoodle away from me!
Loving you is a real grind.
Happy Valentine's Day, you naughty boy!
"wipe your pen upon my pants" (?!?)
Loving you gives me heartburn.
Love me or I'll shoot myself.
My heart served up on a platter (with some fava beans and a nice chianti?)
Happy Valentine's Day! Here have a wormy apple, and watch your step, or I'll boot your ass and find somebody I like better.
A smelly old sock--oh, so romantic!
Prickly Cactus: Your love makes me sick.
Elf: Here, you can puke into my hat.