More fine citizens on parade.
Careful, you'll put your ey-- uh.. never mind.
Something about this guy reminds me of an acorn.
What do you tell a perp with two black eyes? Nothing! You already told him twice.
There's no need to get your nose out of joint, Gramps.
Har har, yeah, laugh it up, fuzzball. Let's see how funny it is when you sober up.
Go ask Alice... why Grace Slick got busted.
Was that tat a dare?
Hey baby, whatcha doin' later? Like, a year from now.
Jusus says "Merry Me-Mas!"
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
And offered all passers some pink.
Along came the po-po, who said, "That's a no-no,"
And threw her ho ass in the clink.
When Lee cries, her face becomes an unfortunate series of punctuation marks.
We don't care if you changed your mind. No one leaves Glamour Shots without a photo.
You can stand under his umbrella ella ella ella ella ella head.
He looks like a thumb.
PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!
Friday, January 14, 2011
More fine citizens on parade.
A great list/article from Spinderfella and MuchMusic.com.
We've all come in contact with that drunken guy at the party (hell, perhaps you've been that drunken guy) who corners you and makes you listen to a song that's "changed his life." Because music has this ability to affect its listeners, its creators of said music are often idolized. This fan worship can often go straight to the musicians' heads, and can cause them to do things that suck.
Here are some of the things that musicians have done to cause outrage and scorn among listeners, and which, if you get right down to it, are pretty asshat things to do.
Listen, we get that crap happens, and that the odd show cancellation is unavoidable and completely understandable. But, if Kanye West can perform a show ONE WEEK after his mother died, we don't want to hear any of your hangover/laziness excuses. (I'm looking at you Justin Timberlake. Clearly, the Smirnoff Ice has, once again, proven to be too much for you.) See also: Avril Lavigne.
REFUSING TO PLAY OLD HITS
There's a reason that you're popular, and it's because you've written some songs that make the people's hearts sing. So, really, most of us don't care how many times you've sung that same old song, if we want to hear "Like A Virgin," then dammit Madonna (shown above), you best be playing it. See also: Radiohead - "Creep."
BEING RIDICULOUSLY EGOTISTICAL
Thinking that you're the greatest thing since sliced bread is fine. Continually reminding anyone who will listen is not. When Noel Gallagher from Oasis said, "With every song that I write, I compare it to the Beatles. The thing is, they only got there before me. If I'd been born at the same time as John Lennon, I'd have been up there," I think we all grow a little purple with rage. See also: Kanye West, Axl Rose, P. Diddy, Brandon Flowers.
Can I just ask what the hell happened to Aerosmith? I mean, "Dream On," "Sweet Emotion," "Same Old Song and Dance"...genius. Then we get "Don't Want to Miss a Thing." What the hell is up with that? Listen - experiment with your sound, do what you got to do to mix it up a little, but don't become complete and utter wussies. How might you know if you've become wussies? When your biggest fan base switches to soccer moms and wedding singers, you just know that something has gone horribly, horribly wrong. See also: Bon Jovi, Rob Thomas.
Everyone should get paid for their work, but there's no need to be obscene about it. There are some artists that charge ridiculous amounts for tickets to see them in concert (i.e. Barbara Streisand has charged $2,500 for certain shows). Hello? That's the price of an old car or a mortgage payment or two. See also: Madonna, Miley Cyrus.
If there's one thing Metallica knows how to do really well, it's raising the ire of their fans and of music lovers everywhere. Metallica is considered to be mostly responsible for the shutdown of the beloved Napster, and in fact printed out a 60,000 page document of all users sharing their songs. Lars Ulrich became the spokesperson for the RIAA, and frankly, annoyed the crap out of people everywhere. Metallica now plans to sell some of their music on the internet, but it's not really receiving a very positive response as people have long memories.
(List continues at MuchMusic)
Except for that uckingfay itchbay who guffaws when the microphone dies--she's no good.
The story, from Yahoo's "Puck Daddy" blog:
Read the rest here, or watch for yourself below.
Elizabeth Hughes, 8, made her debut singing the national anthem at an AHL Norfolk Admirals (the Tampa Bay Lightning's affiliate) game against the Connecticut Whale (New York Rangers' affiliate) last Friday night. Angelic voice, bundle of nerves ... and then after the words "gave proof," her microphone abruptly cut out.