And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for his meddling undead mother.
Man prints fake obituary of own mom to get day off work
A 45-year-old Pennsylvania man has been charged with a crime after publishing a fake obituary of his own mother in order to get time off work.
It sounds like the sort of unfeeling stunt worthy of "Seinfeld" character George Costanza, but Scott Bennett has been charged with disorderly conduct after sending in the fake obituary to the Jeffersonian Democrat newspaper, which then ran the story.
Democrat editor Randy Bartley said the obituary was accepted in good faith, even though his staff had been unable to confirm the funeral arrangement details as of press time.
And to paraphrase the famous Mark Twain line, reports of the woman's death were greatly exaggerated.
Bennett's mother was, indeed, the whistleblower in the case, placing a series of calls to Bartley and Democrat staffers, insisting she was in fact still alive.
But like any good journalism outlet, the Jeffersonian Democrat needed more facts. So Ms. Bennett showed up to the paper in person to prove her existence.
Bartley said that, all things considered, she was "very understanding" about her own falsely reported death.
Police Chief Ken Dworek says Bennett wrote up the memorial notice because he didn't want to get fired for taking time off.