Friday, October 7, 2011

Vents Of The Day

The Vent is a column in the
Atlanta Journal-Constitution (or Urinal-Constipation, as it's called around here) where people can bitch anonymously about stuff. Here are some of the better entries of late.

I object and take exception to everyone saying that Congress is spending money like a drunken sailor. As a former drunken sailor, I quit when I ran out of money.

Let me get this straight: your kid is in detention for misbehavior, misbehaves while in detention and knocks a teacher's lunch on the floor, and it's "demeaning" that the teacher told him to pick it up?

Why don't we call looting what it really is, stealing?

I heard that many teenage boys in Atlanta had to exchange the pants they got for Christmas because they were the right size.

I think we should require politicians to wear the logos of the companies they get "gifts" from just like NASCAR drivers. That way we could see who owns them.

If a married man's wife doesn't understand him, how can he expect a strange woman he met in a bar to understand him?

Difference between trailer trash and subdivision trash: Subdivision trash has had the tires removed.

If you wake up next to a "really ugly woman" after a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, how do you think YOU look to HER?

Gwinnett county tax payers need to thank the lady who shot the intruder. No trial.

You people can celebrate about falling gas prices if you want, but I will wait until they get well below $3 before I drag out the party hats.

A teacher's job is to TEACH the curriculum to the student. A parent's job is to PARENT the child so they know how to behave and show respect in public!

Please folks, lets go back to "You're Welcome." This "No Problem" society really stinks.

A "la-de-da" lady who I prejudged in the ER waiting room yesterday came up to me (I was alone) and asked if I needed her to take me home that day, or could she go get me some broth because I was so nauseous (sp?). Alas, never judge that book.

The BCS Championship Game is simply the SEC Champion and whomever else gets chosen to take a beating.

I am sick of all this crying for a criminal. Where is the sorrow for the victim? Who is protesting for the victims rights?

I always hated math, I was so intimidated by Algebra but I vowed I was going to 'beat' that fear. I started out with the basics & worked my way up and now at 51 I'm at college level Algebra & getting all A's on my tests! If I can do THAT you all can do anything!

If you don't make enough to make ends meet, maybe you need to move your ends closer together.

Hey Ladies, how about some truth in advertising while you are wearing those shorts with cute sayings like 'juicy' and 'yummy'. Was Wal-Mart out of 'skanky' and 'chubby'?

Moms, wait to buy those prom dresses! See what tattoos you will have to cover up after your daughter returns from Panama City.

Maybe there should be a section on your child's report card where the teacher rates the parents on how well prepared the child is, if the child is dressed for the weather, has school supplies, lunch, and snacks.

Attn. Holiday travelers: There is going to be snow on the road, and airports will be closed every year. NO complaining about being stuck somewhere. Your choice!

I think Christina was singing "The Star STRANGLED Banner."

Why do Storm Chasers drive their custom equipped vehicles around chasing tornadoes? Why don't they just sit in a trailer and wait for one?

Now let's hear your vent...


  1. It's called a turn signal.

    It's there for a reason.

    USE IT!

  2. Oh, I love this list! Probably the very best section of the AJC, no?

    Dog owners, everywhere: is it too much to ask that you pick up after your dog when it craps anywhere except your property, and obey leash laws? Really. Yes, I know dogshit is really gross and you don't want to pick it up, but THAT IS YOUR JOB as a dog owner. Not mine. Got that? Good.

  3. Yes, Sonja, by far the best section. The paper is horrible.

    My vent:

    Bikers, I'll share the road when you start sharing the rules of the road. Until then, all bets are off.

  4. I love this!

    Here's mine:

    No one cares about your body hair issues, the ladies' room is just an euphemism for the shitter. Silence is the best policy.

  5. "Urinal-Constipation" ha! Fun to read list. :-)

  6. @Sonya - I agree! I chose a chihuahua because of her tootsie roll-sized poo that fits in a baggie. If you choose a Mastiff, sucks to be you. Bring a grocery sack.

    My vent: If you leave your dog in a hot car, be prepared for the consequences. I'll be waiting and if you want to take me on, you should know: I've been working out. A lot.

  7. And one more: If you don't know the difference between "Merge" and "Yield" then stay off the road!

  8. 1.) When you have to work in a cramped office environment deodorant is NOT optional. (And perfume/cologne is not the same thing.)

    2.) If you try and rush me to get the parking space I'm currently using I'll take my sweet assed time just to piss you off. Maybe I'll even realize I forgot something I needed in the store.

  9. Thanks for the space to vent!

    Drivers, what makes you think that fog/auxiliary lights are any better or any less distracting and painful than high beams? Find out how to shut 'em off and DO IT!

  10. Haha, this reminds me of something the campus paper started this year called "Campus Comments." It's also anonymous and covers different topics every week like religion, Greek life, tailgating, and 8 AM classes. Some funny stuff gets put in there.

    My gripe of the day: Kentucky drivers. In my town, everyone seems to think they're too damn special and important to wait their turn. People hang their cars halfway out into intersection, forcing me to swerve into the other lane without signaling so I don't hit their dumb ass. They speed, tailgate, and pass when they're not supposed to. No wonder there are so many accidents!



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