Monday, September 12, 2011

The 25 Most Un-Sexy Sounds Ever

The 25 most un-sexy sounds ever. Ever is a long, long time.

From The Frisky.

  1. Someone blowing their nose.
  2. Toenails being clipped.
  3. Gum-smacking.
  4. The clink-clink of an exposed metal heel walking on pavement.
  5. Slurping soup or spaghetti.
  6. Water from the shower hitting an inch of water at the bottom of the bathtub when the drain is somewhat clogged.
  7. The words “moist,” “cutlet,” “soiled,” and “panties” pronounced out loud.
  8. The whirl of a hairdryer.
  9. The phrase “I’m not in love with you anymore” delivered by someone you’re very much in love with.
  10. The remaining droplets of liquid sipped through a straw.
  11. Nadya Suleman’s laugh.
  12. A dog’s yelp when its tail is stepped on.
  13. The scurry of rodent feet across hardwood floors.
  14. A woodpecker doing its business.
  15. A dog or cat licking its nether-regions.
  16. On the Wings of Love” by Jeffrey Osbourne.
  17. Cotton mouth.
  18. The somewhat distracting hum of the Hitachi Magic Wand. (Luckily, its powers more than make up for its sound.)
  19. Slow, wet farts.
  20. Sneakers squeaking.
  21. Head-scratching.
  22. Nails on a chalkboard.
  23. Snooki’s voice saying just about anything (though we love her anyway).
  24. Teeth sucking.
  25. A super phlegm-y cough.
They got nose-blowing and phlemgy coughs but missed the best sound of all from that category: when someone sucks the snot out of their nose and sinuses and down into their throat, then swallows it. Yum! I love that sound, especially while I'm eating.

What other sounds belong here?


  1. hahaha ,
    what a great write up very funny and very interesting , i will try to visit your blog in future very often .

  2. Definitely agree with the sucking snot into throat and swallowing.
    When I hear it, I say "yummy" to see the reaction.
    The chewing of food (or gum) with the mouth open is a definite turn off.

  3. HA! Great list, Cary! :-D

    #13 made me shudder.

    I'd add hearing your young child call out desperately, "Mom, I think I'm going to be sick!" immediately followed by another very un-sexy sound, the retching noises of that same child.

    The jarring ring of a telephone or doorbell would make my list too.

  4. Ditto on Daisy's additions. I'd like to add people audibly sliding their teeth across the fork when they are eating. Arrrggghhhh!

    And I really hate the sound smoke detectors make when their batteries are getting low.

  5. I don't know why #16 made me laugh so much, but it did!

    Something else that makes me dry heave, the sound of someone really working at it to hork up & spit. And then the sound of said spit landing. Oh Hell, spitting in general is just repulsive.

  6. Interesting list! Some of mine...
    Chronic throat clearing,
    Tuneless humming or whistling,
    Knuckle cracking,
    Cat bringing up a hairball,
    Sentence beginning with something like, "I am sorry to have to tell you this..."

  7. I agree with the hairball one. Also being able to hear the cat do #2 in the litterbox.

    Small children whining in the next aisle over at the store.

    Nancy Grace

    Being whistled or catcalled at.

    The fan that's been venting hot air out of the crawl space over my bedroom all summer long.

  8. 2 marbles being rubbed together.

    Ugh, just typing that made my teeth hurt.

  9. Omg YES on the marbles. Skin crawl!

    Ditto Nancy Grace.

  10. Ive never heard the marble thing.
    I so agree with Robin. And snot (phlegm) is absolutely the worst.
    #7 is my favorite. Those words should never be said.

  11. I like "On the wings of love" But if you ever repeat it, I will deny it :)

  12. So do I, Liz. There are plenty of songs she could have used that are much worse.

    Dr. T: Try to marble thing and let us know what you think.



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