Friday, August 12, 2011

News Story Of The Day: He Likes Wal-Mart

Hey, I love a good bargain as much as the next guy, but come on.

"When He Comes To Walmart He Gets Aroused."

AUGUST 10--A Louisiana man arrested yesterday for driving around a Walmart parking lot with his penis exposed explained to cops that “he gets aroused” when visiting the retail giant, according to a police report.

Travis Keen, 28, was busted on an obscenity charge and booked into the Ouachita Parish jail, where he is being held in lieu of $5000 bail.

Keen, pictured in the mug shot at right, was collared after a witness reported to police that a man driving a Ford Taurus drove past him “with his penis exposed.” The witness, who tailed the Ford as it drove around a Walmart parking lot in Monroe, told cops that when the suspect “saw a female in the parking lot he would stop and watch them.”

When Officer Colby Spillers confronted him, Keen reportedly “stated he did have his penis out because of past experiences he had at Wal-Mart. Keen stated when he comes to Wal-Mart he gets aroused.”

Thankfully, Keen did not further detail what it was about the retailer that so turned him on.


  1. "stated he did have his penis out because of past experiences he had at Wal-Mart"

    I'm sure there's a back story about those "past experiences." I don't want to know what it is, but I'm sure there's one there.

  2. (I commented on this earlier but it didn't stick.)

    I missed the memo where one is required to reveal one's penis each time one is aroused. And apparently, no one ever gets aroused around me!

  3. He doesn't even have to go into the store, just drive around. That's some bang for your buck, right there...

  4. You'd think Walmart would jump on this as a possible marketing strategy.

    (Voiced by a sexy woman):

    "At Walmart, our prices are so excitingly low, you won't even need Viagra."



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