Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The 9 Most Annoying People At Starbucks

From Spinderfella and

Starbucks is the best and worst place on the entire planet. On the one hand, they have more than enough delicious caffeine, whipped cream, and overpriced travel mugs to satisfy your early morning cravings. On the other hand, they're a steaming hotbed of douchebaggery. Here are the 9 most annoying people you'll run into at your local Starbucks:


Y'know what's awesome? When you walk into a Starbucks to find a line about thirty patrons deep, and then the person who gets in line behind you just shouts to their "friend" behind the counter: "Hey, Colby! I'm getting my usual!" Then, the line jumper spends the rest of his time trying to "just sneak in and pay real quick" so that he can avoid standing in line with all the other losers who don't come to this particular Starbucks as often as he does.


When you order coffee, it shouldn’t sound like you’re giving the pass code to a missile defense system. If you’re lactose intolerant, on a strict diet, and can’t handle a full dose of caffeine, how about instead of ordering a “non-fat, grande, soy chai latte with a half shot of espresso and no foam," just drink a glass of water.


Wearing an all-white or striped button down shirt, this guy shows up with a legal pad full of hastily scribbled orders. "Yeah, I'm gonna need 24 tall skinny soy lattes with sugar free hazelnut extra hot...and 32 grande no caff cappuccinos with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha. And 14 grande supremos with a triple shot, sugar free vanilla, extra white mocha, no whip, no foam and an extra drizzle. Oh, and can I get a smiley face on the bottom of all those?"


Screw the library with all it’s “room” and “group space.” It makes way more sense to have your 20-person study session in an incredibly busy and crowded Starbucks with tables that have insufficient space to lay your books. Everyone knows you have a poli-sci midterm, mostly because they can hear every f*cking thing you’re saying because you’re yelling so that you can be heard over the frappucino machine.

See the rest at


  1. You just listed 4 of the 5 reasons I don't go to Starbuck's. The 5th? I don't drink coffee!! Even if I did, I wouldn't pay their exorbitant prices.

  2. I live pretty much in the middle of nowhere and there's no Starbucks here. That seems like a good thing to me.

  3. I found a $4 Starbucks gift certificate that I got when I was in Chicago in '06. I should use it, sometime. (I checked, and it's still good.)

  4. Not sure that's enough for a cup of Starbucks coffee, Frank. A scone, maybe. Or a tiny little pack of beans.

  5. I like tiny packs of beans. (TWSS, I hope.)

  6. I love Sbux but hate the d-baggery. The trick is to get brewed coffee, not the espresso drinks. I can get a delicious brewed coffee for under $2 and it's worth every penny. Also, the dark chocolate covered grahams are not to be missed. Their bakery stuff? Waaay overpriced and not nearly good enough to make it worth the calories.

  7. Both of my older kids worked at Starbucks. They concur with the list but have a few more to add. Unfortunately, they aren't even remotely G-rated!

  8. This list is awesome! I have a friend who's an assistant manager at a Sbux. She's gonna love this!

  9. I'd love to see a counter-list to this one. "9 most annoying people who work at Starbucks".

    No offense RGR, your kids will be excluded as per our deal. (BTW why'd you only send me wallet-sized pics know? I mean I'm not complaining about what I see, but eyestrain is a real concern here.)

  10. I know it's cool to hate on Starbucks, but I love Starbucks. I only go once a week (if that) but I'm glad that "the kid" has made the list.

    Parents bringing 2-3 kids, loading them up with sugary pastries, with $5.00 coffee and hot chocolate...

  11. Hi, may I use your photo above 'guy reading with a coffee' for my blog? for a piece on starbucks.. Please let me know if you DON'T.. Cheers!


  12. Hi, May use your photo above, "guy reading with coffee" for a blog called

    Please let me know if you DON'T

    can even use your blog as reference if you like.





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