Monday, July 18, 2011

Sh*t My Kids Ruined (Of The Day)

These are funny because they are just too real. Children are so precious -- bless their destructive little hearts. (I'll spare you the photos of what my kids ruined: my waist, my boobs, and my tenuous grasp on sanity.) There are many more examples here. -- RichGirlRed

Tyler knew there was candy in his mom's bathroom somewhere, and he would find it.

White laptop + kid + Sharpie = Xanax with a bourbon chaser

I was actually relieved to discover this was peanut butter.

The photo that started it all. One quart of black paint on an oriental rug.

Mr. Potato Head is SO toasted. Literally. In the gas fireplace.

Celebrities aren't exempt. John Legend's nephew ruined his Grammy.

Obviously, soft skin is a priority for this chap.

ZuZu Pets made terrible combs. Her hair got wound up in the wheels and had to be cut off.

Teenage driver, wrong pedal. Oops.

"I sent my 4 year old son out to get in the car while I was wrestling my newborn into his car seat all the while forgetting that I had locked all the doors. Who knew that he was so strong and so determined and so hell bent on destroying the newly PAID OFF car."

What have your kids ruined?


  1. From 1994-98, anything breakable. Middle son as a toddler used to bring us giant bolts and screws but we could never figure out from where? We didn't recognize them at all. We finally decided: he's slowly dismantling the house.

  2. Most of my children's destructive nature is vented on the cats. Thankfully they're able to defend themselves.

    I'll also blame them for my boobs and waistline, though my grasp on sanity has always been tenuous.

  3. Mr. Potato Head made me laugh. The kid was probably just trying to make a baked potato.

    The ZuZu pet reminds me of some kind of little spinning tops we had as kids that were really easy to get wound up in your hair if you weren't careful.

    As for my own kids, at the age of 2, my younger son shattered the glass of the back windshield of my car. He and his brother (who was 6 at the time) were playing "hockey" with croquet mallets in the garage. He accidentally smacked the glass with the back swing of his mallet.

    We've also had several windows in the garage broken due to the errant toss of baseballs.

  4. A friend of mine coated her parents' couches with a bottle of shampoo when she was like 3. I only remember putting stickers to my parents bedroom walls and ruining my brother's Nintendo.

  5. This goes to show that a good coping method is to take a photograph so that someday you can laugh at an incident that wasn't so funny at the time. I have a number of such photos myself, including some cake baked for a wedding that was cooling within arms reach of a marauding child.

  6. My parents used to buy me all sorts of musical instruments when I was a kid. I had: an accordion, a guitar, a drum set and an organ. I tore up every single one of them. If only they'd taken more chances on me, I coulda been a contendah... for an out of work musician or the next Michael Jackson. The world will never know.

  7. Boy I can't wait until I have kids who will fuck up everything for me that I enjoy.

  8. um, i don't even have kids, but i love the xanax with the bourbon chaser...

  9. no kids.. so all the things ruined that are mine, I did it myself..

    Sometimes I blame the ex :)

  10. I wonder if tampon baby's mom flushed them all or if she fished them out one by one.

  11. I helped my mom bake a pecan pie by putting the pile of shells in the mix when she wasn't looking. The minister really liked it. My sister knocked a glass of orange juice into the Atari-still worked though. That thing was indestructible.

  12. The Liquor Guy said...

    Boy I can't wait until I have kids who will fuck up everything for me that I enjoy.

    This and the mom curse* are the only reasons I'm never having kids. (* "Someday you're gonna have kids just like you!")

    @ Heidi Renée

    I'm betting she flushed em and then acted surprised when her husband told her the toilet was overflowing. Not out of laziness, but so he too could share in the joy of his kids antics.



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