Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Quotes Of The Day: Celebs Dissing Celebs

Oh SNAP!



If my children turned out like Madonna I would drown them with my own hands. -Whitney Houston

Joan always cries a lot. Her tear ducts must be close to her bladder. -Bette Davis (on Joan Crawford)

His album was called Bad because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for Pathetic. -Prince (on Michael Jackson)



Donald says he wants to run for president, move into the White House. Why not? It wouldn’t be the first time he pushed a black family out of their house. -Snoop Dogg (on Donald Trump)

I would rather be on stage with a pig. -Mariah Carey (on the possibility of her doing a duet with Jennifer Lopez)

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner. -Johnny Carson (on Chevy Chase)

I was particulary stunned by the casting of Tom Cruise, who is no more my Vampire Lestat [in Interview With The Vampire] than Edward G. Robinson is Rhett Bulter. -Anne Rice



Mystery solved! Now we know who the "half a man" is in "Two And A Half Men." HINT: it's not the kid! -Zooey Deschanel (on Charlie Sheen)

That's not writing, that's typing. -Truman Capote (on Jack Kerouac's work)

She turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines. -Joan Rivers (on Bo Derek)

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and go to my sister's house and ask her for money. -Comedian Kevin Meaney



I wouldn't fuck her with Bea Arthur's dick. -Comedian Jeffrey Ross (on Sandra Bernhardt)

Boy George is all England needs -- another queen who can't dress. -Joan Rivers

If I hung out with 20-year-old porn stars all the time, I'd think I was a genius too. -Sarah Silverman (on Charlie Sheen)



His writing is limited to songs for dead blondes. -Keith Richards (on Elton John)

I'm glad I've given up drugs and alcohol. It would be awful to be like Keith Richards. He's pathetic. It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go on stage and look young. -Elton John

6 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *takes a breath* HAHAHAHAHAHA! Fantastic post!:)

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  2. I love Prince. Somehow I believe it would be more credible to have Madonna threatening Lourdes with the same sentence about Whitney.

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  3. I wouldn't piss on the lot of them if they were on fire.

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  4. I wouldn't either, Cary.

    "I would rather be on stage with a pig. -Mariah Carey (on the possibility of her doing a duet with Jennifer Lopez)"

    Too easy.

    "I was particulary stunned by the casting of Tom Cruise, who is no more my Vampire Lestat [in Interview With The Vampire] than Edward G. Robinson is Rhett Bulter. -Anne Rice"

    Yeah, I kind of feel for her on this one. So awful.

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  5. Some of these don't have much room to talk, or as the kids used to say, "Takes one to know one."

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  6. I think the Peter Fonda workout sounds great. Jane's sucked. No one looks good in leg warmers. (So says the woman who is still eating birthday cake.)

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