Friday, July 29, 2011

Obnoxious "Unattended Children" Signs Of The Day

I'm no fan of unattended kids but damn, I hate stores with passive-aggressive signs like these, probably because they never have just one. "No smoking." "No food or drink allowed." "If you break it, you buy it." "In God we trust. All others pay cash." "Restrooms for customers ONLY." "Do NOT use your cell phone at the register." "No refunds without receipt!" blah blah blah. I want to go in with a sign that says, "I don't buy stuff from assholes with asshole signs all over their asshole stores."



















13 comments:

  1. "Unattended Children Will Be Crushed And Melted"

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  2. Thrown in the dumpster, placed on hooks and tortured--wow, several of these are pretty harsh even if they are intended as humor. Talk about misdirected anger! Seems like the store owners should direct their aggression at the irresponsible parents, not their kids.

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  3. Back when my stepfather had an aquarium store, he only had a non smoking sign. Because grown people still need to be told not to smoke in closed environments. Other than that, if there was a kid misbehaving, he walked next to the kid and said in a loud voice: "Hey! Go take care of your mom, she seems about to get in big trouble!"
    Worked every time.

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  4. Unfortunately, these asshole signs were borne out of necessity...because there are a lot of inconsiderate asshole parents coming into stores with their poorly behaved children.

    I've seen and witnessed firsthand what an annoying menace unattended kids can be in a store full of retail goods...so, I do sympathize with shop owners who put those signs up, as lame as most of them are.

    the MPOTD made me burst out laughing.

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  5. I have seen far more poorly behaved adults then I have children. At least children have an excuse.

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  6. The espresso/puppy one was funny the first time I saw it. It's lost some of its luster since.

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  7. Um, as someone who worked for many years at a swimming pool, I actually have to agree with the increasingly aggressive nature of these signs. People are getting worse, not better. And *most* children are basically feral (right, like we weren't??) unless socialized by good parents, setting good examples - which seems to be fewer parents every year.

    (PS - I'M BACK - I got a new job and a new email address!!) Missed you all and this blog!!

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  8. Welcome back, Juicy!

    I dislike free-roaming kids as much as the next guy, but some of these signs are too much.

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  9. Welcome back, Juicy!

    I think that most of these signs are merely attempts at humor. Maybe I'd think differently if I had kids.

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  10. Not to offend any responsible parents here, but children are just like pets, in that they take their cues from whoever is in charge.

    If mom and dad have no problems with junior running around like a tasmanian devil hopped up on crack then the kids will do just that.

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  11. Years ago I took my kids deep sea fishing in Florida. My son was traumatized (which isn't hard) by a sign on the boat that said, "Whining children will be used as shark bait." He was convinced it was true and spent the entire day on his very best behavior. Best. Fishing. Trip. Ever.

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  12. @ rgr

    Did you make the guy an offer on the sign?

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  13. I never realized this was even an option.

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