Tuesday, July 5, 2011

News Of The Day: Grandma Beats Boy For Eating Bacon

From The Smoking Gun.

Granny Busted For Bacon Beef With Grandson, 9

Cops: Suspect, 64, thought boy bogarted meat

JUNE 30--Angered that her grandson ate too much bacon at breakfast, a 63-year-old woman chased the boy out of her Pennsylvania home and pinned him down on the front lawn, where she blasted him in the face with a garden hose, police allege.

Marilee Ann Kolynych was busted Tuesday evening on endangering the welfare of children, simple assault, harassment, and disorderly conduct charges. Her grandson, 9, was not injured during the attack.

In a Clifton Heights Police Department report, Officer James Press noted that the child “stated that he had been getting tortured by his grandmother…all day for an incident that took place during breakfast.”

According to Press, the matter involved the child consuming more bacon than anyone else, which angered Kolynych.

A witness told Press that Kolynych chased her grandson around the yard before throwing him to the ground and “sitting on top of him beating him on his legs and spraying water at very close range into [the boy’s] face.” The child told cops that “the nozzle setting was on full blast.”

The child eventually broke free and “ran across the street, using a neighbor’s phone to call his mother, who was in the basement while the incident was taking place out front.”

Even after the boy’s mother arrived outside, a witness reported, Kolynych continued to chase after the child.

Kolynych, free on bail, is set for a July 7 preliminary hearing.


  1. Boy needs to be beat...eatin too much bacon and narcin grandma out to the cops!

  2. It's so nice when families spend time together creating such special memories! :-D

  3. Bacon is really good, but wow. Tortured all day for eating too many slices? What did grandma expect him to do about it? Hork it back up?

  4. Having a 10 year old boy of my own, I know these kids can eat.

    Coupled with the fact that bacon is getting more expensive, I can kinda see where she is coming from by getting mad, but the flogging by hose is a bit much.


    Poor kid will probably never touch or smell bacon again without having to curl into the fetal position and sucking his thumb.

    But with it getting more expensive, I guess that can be a good thing.

  5. There are probably better ways to teach a kid not to be a glutton than her method. Bet that's the last time he decides to eat more than his share of bacon, though...

  6. There's no excuse for her behavior. He should smother her in her sleep.

  7. I beginning to wonder if any of her kids have horrific reactions to other breakfast foods.

    Like does she have a son who wets himself at the sight of a sausage link? Maybe he can't walk down the cereal aisle at the grocery store without having Vietnam-like flashbacks?

    "No mommy, I'm sorry I had a second bowl of BooBerry! Don't hit me with the empty box, it won't happen again!"

  8. I thought the shenanigans that happen in my house on 'bacon days' were bad. I may need to up the ante a bit.

  9. She could have drowned that boy, all for the sake of bacon?!?!? WTF! She got what she deserved!



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