Tuesday, July 5, 2011

13 Creepy Dolls Who Will Kill You In Your Sleep (Of The Day)

Not as creepy as clowns, but almost.

She is very disappointed in you. Very.

Mom? Where's my retainer?

You are getting very sleepy. I might've put something in your cocoa.

John-John not happy. When John-John not happy, big people die.

You better watch it. The last guy who pissed me off won't be pissing anybody off anymore, if you get my meaning ::wink::

Look at these eyes. Do I look like someone who would creep into your room at night, climb up into your bed oh-so-quietly, and smother you with a pillow while you kick and flail and try to pry my murderous arms off your head?

Uh-oooh. Did that hurt? Stupid hatchet.

Who, us? We're not plotting a homicide, nope. :::whistling:::

I told you my eyes hurt.

Of course I wasn't moving. I'm a doll, silly. Go back to sleep.

Little Miss No Name. I'm sad that I have no name. You'll be sad when you have no head.

Why did you leave me in the tanning bed, Mommy, why?

Heh heh HEY! Just writing your suicide note. ::giggle::


  1. Hannah just noticed a doll that my mom has had forever. She was telling my mom: "That doll is scary Grandma, its watching me where ever I go. I think its going to kill me"

  2. Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Those Victorian dolls are especially creepy.

    WV: "sparm" - I don't want to know what that means.

  3. So freaky! Great captions, Cary. I like the "whistling" ones. ha! I can't imagine buying any of these to give to a child.

  4. Puppets, clowns, and dolls -- The Freaky Trifecta. The fabulous captions help, Cary, but I'm still gonna have bad dreams.

    Why do those blinking winking dolls always lock up? We can put people on the moon but we can't design a doll whose eyes work properly? Sheesh.

  5. The first two alone made me almost shit my pants....

  6. I would add ventriloquist dummies to your list RGR.... *shudder*

  7. Welcome to the reason I will wake up screaming for the next two weeks.

  8. God, these are just awful...and no less creepy the second time, either. Captions are off-the-charts hilarious as usual.

    The second one is particularly viscerally disturbing; I have visions of it tearing throats out of people as they sleep <>.

  9. The innocently whistling dolls are German, adding further proof that children's toys (and stories) are just plain creepy here. Not all, but many. Check out "Max and Moritz" some time, little demon-like boys who play horrible pranks and wind up being ground into grain and eaten by ducks. It's no wonder that German children twitch.

    Oh, and the doll with the REALLY big eyes is a Blythe doll out of England. I have some friends who collect them, but I've always found them unspeakably creepy.

  10. Thanks, Cary. Looks like I won't be sleeping tonight. Or ever.

  11. Hehehe. Love the creepy dolls! Especially Gary Busey and John-John.

  12. This is why I was a tomboy growing up...played with toys like balls and bats and frisbees. Dolls gave me the total creeps, therefore my older sister would torment me with her crazy sometimes close her eyes doll. Ecchhh!!!

  13. Oh, Siress. Max and Moritz are nasty! Wow... I'm so sorry, Germany.

  14. These make me miss Matter of Fact Mommy.

  15. Makes Hello Kitty seem pretty fabulous right about now. Even feeling better about Barbie, and that's not easy to accomplish...

  16. I need the 'retainer' and 'eyes hurt' dolls for the curio cabinet at home. Fun at parties!

    Ah, how green is my Uncanny Valley?

  17. did these dolls escape from the Ugly Renaissance Babies website?



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