Movies stripped bare. From Movie-A-Minute.
GOOD WILL HUNTING
Matt Damon: I'm smart, but so what? Let's start fights and pick up chicks.
Robin Williams: If you push people away, they can't be close to you.
Matt Damon: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP you fixed me thank you I love you. (cries)
BATMAN AND ROBIN
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Ice to meet you.
Producers: We may have created the worst movie in history.
THE SIXTH SENSE
Haley Joel Osment: I see dead people.
Bruce Willis: Try talking to them.
Haley Joel Osment: It worked.
RETURN OF THE JEDI
Darth Vader: Luke, come to the dark side.
Darth Vader: Your goodness has redeemed me. Die, emperor scum.
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE
James Stewart: I'm useless.
Henry Travers: Don't say that. The happiness of the entire universe depends on your existence.
James Stewart: Hooray!
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND
(Airplanes are found in the desert.)
(UFOs appear over Richard Dreyfuss' house.)
Richard Dreyfuss: Wow!
(UFOs appear over Devil's Tower.)
Julia Roberts: I'm a jerk, but I'm brilliant. Give me a job, you fountain of scummy pain evil.
Albert Finney: Ok.
Julia Roberts: This company is poisoning water. Let's fry their ugly hides in extract of hell.
(They DO, and it is HEARTWARMING.)
(A train WRECKS, and it is COOL.)
Tommy Lee Jones: We must find the fugitive. Check every type of house.
(Tommy Lee Jones chases Harrison Ford but finds out he is innocent.)
Harrison Ford: I'm glad I don't have to run away anymore.
Kevin Costner: Though I am a simple victim of circumstance, a pretender, I am also a metaphor for the rebirth of the collective American unconscious, quickened again from its own ashes.
Townsfolk: That's nice. Deliver these letters, please.
John Travolta: I like you, but you're not cool enough.
Olivia Newton-John: What if I dress like a slut?
John Travolta: Now that you're not who you are, I can love you for who I wanted you to be.
THE HORSE WHISPERER
Kristin Scott Thomas: I'm obsessive-compulsive, my daughter broke her leg, and I don't love my husband. Robert Redford, you can save us all if only you'll fix our horse.
Robert Redford: Ok, but you're annoying.
(Robert Redford STARES at the horse, thereby making it ALL BETTER.)
Kristin Scott Thomas: I love you.
GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS
All: Expletive. The leads, the leads. These are expletive leads. Expletive expletive expletive. It's all about the expletive leads.
THE FILMS OF DAVID LYNCH
Some Woman: I do enjoy my nice, idyllic lifestyle, but I hope that underneath my seemingly perfect suburban world there is corruption and evil.
(SOME WOMAN discovers her OWN CORPSE and is ARRESTED.)
Midget: Someday that gum you like is going to come back in style.
Hit Man (laughs cryptically)
(An EYE is slit open with a RAZOR BLADE. We learn that SOMEBODY was really SOME WOMAN all along, and they were on the MOON.)
Julia Roberts: I'm a hooker, but I don't kiss on the lips.
Richard Gere: I have a lot of money.
Julia Roberts: (smooch)