Thursday, June 23, 2011

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Actor Needed For Emotional Role

craigslist > washington, DC >

Actor needed for emotional role - one day high pay

Data: 2009-04-17, 12:52PM EDT

My deceased aunt gave my two kids a Cocker Spaniel a few months back. The dog has been a terror and has become overwhelming for me.

I am a single father raising two young children. I cannot face telling the kids that the dog must go. I have found a good home for the dog, and just need someone to transport the dog, and play the villain.

Premise: You will be the dog walker hired by daddy (me) to walk Skittles. I will introduce you to the kids, and you will tell them you are going to help Skittles get her exercise when Daddy is too busy to walk her.

At that point you will walk Skittles to your car and take her to her new family 20 minutes from my place. Then return holding just a leash.

The story will be that Skittles broke free of the leash and took off.

At this point prepare for crying, things being thrown at you, and possibly cursing. My kids are young and dramatic--they're girls.

Pay will be $500. The job will take roughly 2 hours at best.

This job is ideal for an actor looking to diversify their role base, or someone who genuinely likes to make children cry.

Acting experience is a plus, but not necessary. Please inform me of any prior experience in this kind of situation.


  1. Prior experience in this kind of situation? Really?! Oh, It's D.C. Never mind.

  2. I can't decide if this is evil or brilliant, but I like it.

  3. Phone lines were probably jammed with people calling about this one as soon as it was posted.

  4. Ha! $500 is a lot of money to spend for not having the balls enough to tell your kids the damn dog just has to go, and dealing with the crying fallout yourself.

    But, elaborate lie and all, I still like it as well.

    Love the elementary school portrait of Garth - Party on! :D

  5. Hell, I love making kids cry. I'd do it for free.

  6. too!!!! Although, this almost looks like a Reverse Craigslist Asshole Post... doesn't it?

  7. Dad's a pussy. Man up and make your own kids cry. Dog gets a better home (who the fuck wants to live with you) and the kids are scarred for life. Congrats: Father of the year.
    Whatta bag.



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