Monday, May 9, 2011

WTF Product Of The Day: Male Milker

From Cam, of course.

From Gamma Squad:

When I saw this hand job machine on Reddit, I immediately needed to know more about it. (Uh . . . for a friend.) After several Google searches that have probably landed me on yet another watchlist, I am pleased to announce I know exactly where you can buy this machine (for a friend). It’s made by Sanwe Medical Equipment Co., Ltd., who say:

We consistently adhere to the service philosophy of “Customer is friend rather than God” [Ed.- lol wut?] and hope to provide users more benefits, more convenience and more enjoyable healthy life with our superior quality products, thoughtful service and absolute faithfulness.

Thoughtful service and friendliness indeed. And they sell these for only $2,800 and say they can manufacture up to ten of these machines per week (for a friend).

The machine is simply called “Sperm Collector.” I guess they ignored all my letters where I requested it be named “your mom.”


  1. Ummmm, I got nothing. Between this and the MPOTD I'm speechless. People are seriously weird.

  2. So, I assume there is a "receptacle" that needs to be cleaned on an annual basis?

    Sign me up for that one.

    1. Annual basis? Annual as in once per year? PLEASE tell me you'd clean it more than that, like every time you used it!!

  3. Ya know, Evil, I hadn't even thought about that. *gag*

    I had the same issue with those rubber things we were supposed to use to suck boogers out of the kid's nose. What happens when it gets full? I'm not opening that shit up.

  4. Changing the GD Diaper Genie was bad enough. Opening that thing was like unleashing pure evil. I danced a jig the day we tossed that thing in the trash.

  5. Well, as far as the snot-sucker goes, you put it with the bath toys, and after a few squirt fights, the problem is solved . . .

  6. Just like the Male Milker™!

  7. $2,800! Yikes! It seems like some liquid soap and some "alone time" in the shower would be a better idea. If I were a male, I'd be afraid of this thing malfunctioning. That's a rather sensitive part of your body to be trusting to an electrical, mechanical gizmo, no matter how thoughtful and friendly they claim it to be.

  8. No doubt. Scary enough trusting it to a wife who may or may not be angry at you.

  9. @ cary

    Two things I learned (the hard way) never to hand to an angry woman, one is your credit card, and the other is...well, you know.

  10. Didn't read about the jerk-off machine, but wanted to wonder aloud (or keyboard it, really!) why the nipples on the motivational poster are censored...they are the least offensive part of that photo!!!

  11. Why am I picturing Woody Harrelson from Kingpin, and an Amish farmer saying, "Ve don't have a cow. Ve have a bull!"

    I would say I'm speechless about the whole thing but really not. I suppose there's a use for it ... perhaps a sperm bank or something. Do they at least give you a Playboy or Penthouse for while you're standing there?

  12. I'm wondering why it looks like it is setup in a mall?! I certainly hope it isn't going to replace those massage chairs.

  13. From the Sanwe group web page - "Contact : Mr. Flix Dong manager, foreign trade"



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