Friday, May 27, 2011

LOTD Taglines Of The Day

Sometimes it's the simple things. One of my favorite parts of doing this blog is coming up with a random tagline each day. If you've ever wondered what some of them mean, I'll tell you. A lot of these are well-known; others are not.

Pret-ty sneaky sis (70s commercial for the game Connect Four)

Don’t drink the milk. Why? It’s spoiled. (The Little Rascals)

It’s quiet. Too quiet. (random line from every action movie)

I used to be full of piss and vinegar. Now I’m just full of vinegar. (Simpsons)

Circling Uranus in search of Klingons (old joke punchline)

No comprende, it’s a riddle (80s song "Mexican Radio")

We got 3 flies, we got 5 flies (this NSFW video)

Not gettin’ hassled, not getting’ hustled ("Good Times" theme song)

The heck do ya mean? (Fargo)

Never give up. Never slow down. Never grow old. Never ever die young ("Never Die Young," one of James Taylor's lesser-known songs and one of my favorites. A song
with beautiful lyrics about love that endures despite hardship, at least as I choose to interpret it.)

Friends to the end. This is the end, friend. (Something my granddad used to say)

So many social engagements, so little time (Raising Arizona)

It’s just a flesh wound (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Ribbed for her pleasure (condom ad line)

In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife (classic commercial for the ginsu knife)

The price is wrong, bitch (Happy Gilmore)

How's that Ciera working out for ya? (Fargo)

You talking to me? (Taxi Driver)

You’re soaking in it (old commercial for Palmolive dish soap)

Well it ain’t Ozzie & Harriet (Raising Arizona)

Tell ‘em Large Marge sent ya (Pee Wee's Big Adventure)

I hear the voices in my head, I swear to God it sounds like they’re snoring ("Flagpole Sitta" - Harvey Danger)

Keep coming back. It works if you work it. (AA mantra)

Uno dos tres cautro cinco cinco seis ("Pretty Fly For A White Guy" - Offspring)

I bet you never smelled a real bus before (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

A companion unobtrusive ("Spirit Of Radio" - Rush)

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball (SNL commercial spoof)

The gators got your granny.. chomp chomp chomp (old song "Poke Salad Annie")

For that not-so-fresh feeling (classic Summer's Eve douche commercial, which I would link if I could find the right one, but I can't)

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss. ("Won't Get Fooled Again" - The Who)

Beat on the brat with a baseball bat ("Beat On The Brat" - Ramones)

The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here! (The Jerk)

You are blind as a bat and I have sight (classic SNL clip with Joe Piscopo as Sinatra and Eddie Murphy as Stevie Wonder)

Every Halloween the trees are filled with underwear, every spring the toilets explode (Animal House)

Mind the gap (sign on London Underground platforms)

If you could see it then you’d understand ("Speed Of Sound" - Coldplay)

Do you wanna find alligator cowboy boots that just went on sale? ("Polyester Bride" - Liz Phair)

The beer we’ll pour must say something more somehow (old commercial for Lowenbrau beer)

Because of the wonderful things he does (The Wizard Of Oz)

Hey good lookin’, we’ll be back to pick you up later! (70s commercial for Mr. Microphone)

Smiles, everyone, smiles (weekly line from Mr. Roarke in "Fantasy Island" TV show)

Crack a smile and cut your mouth and drown in alcohol ("Burden In My Hand" - Soundgarden

My name is Otto. It means eight. (A Fish Called Wanda)

It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature (70s commercial for Chiffon margarine)

Look up. Look down. Look out. Look around. ("It Can Happen To You" - Yes)

Tickle your ass with a feather? (Up The Academy)

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo ("Big Bottoms" - Spinal Tap)

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. (The Big Lebowski)

All my exes live in Texas (country song by George Strait)

Show us your O face (variation of Office Space line)

Shut your festering gob, you tit! (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave (Madagascar)

Hey lady, what you say, how about some funk today? ("Alligator Woman" - Cameo)

It hurts me more than it hurts you (lie told by parents right before they spank their kids)

Can’t touch this (MC Hammer)

Let me hear your body talk ("Physical" - Olivia Newton John)

You know forks were invented so that man could at least make a pretense of separating himself from the apes. (Overboard)

Me and my machine for the rest of the morning ("Millworker" - James Taylor)

Just go and lay your hand on a Pittsburgh Steelers fan (just one of the many utterly inane lyrics from the unbelievably awful Charlie Daniels' song, "In America")

Clowns never laughed before. Beanstalks never grew. ("The Brady Bunch")

Do it for Johnny! (The Outsiders)

Let the wild rumpus start (Where The Wild Things Are)

If we don’t get some cool rules of our own, pronto, we’ll just be bogus, too (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)

Meanwhile, back at stately Wayne Manor… (frequent line in 60s "Batman" TV series)

A way to shield the hated heat ("Driver 8" - REM)

Gonna buy five copies for my mother ("Cover Of The Rolling Stone" - Dr. Hook)

Wrong way on a one-way track ("Runaway Train" - Soul Asylum)

O elders, fleet and strong and wise, appear before my seeking eyes (70s TV show "Shazam!")

For a nickel I will (punchline to an old joke)

Long-haired freaky people need not apply ("Signs" - Five Man Electrical Band)

You must be this tall to ride (amusement park sign)

“PC Load Letter” What the fuck does that mean? (Office Space)

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it (what wives say to husbands)

Mom always said don’t play ball in the house ("The Brady Bunch")

Yippee-ki-yay, motherf**ker (Die Hard)

Will there be TP there? (Cornholio line in "Beavis & Butthead")

Pain don’t hurt (Road House)

I know you’re out there, I can hear you breathing (line comedians use when they're tanking)

So money and we don’t even know it (Swingers)

My friends call me Lenny, but I got no friends. (Raising Arizona)

The head, the tail, the whole damn thing (Jaws)

Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases your blues away ("I've Got Friends In Low Places" - Garth Brooks)

We don’t need no stinkin’ badges (oft misquoted line from Treasure Of The Sierra Madre)

While supplies last (commercial tagline)

Livin’ the dream (just a line people say)

This aggression will not stand, man (The Big Lebowski)

Wax on, wax off (The Karate Kid)

See if you can guess what I am now (Animal House)

You sure got a purty mouth (a disturbing scene in Deliverance that I won't like you to. You're welcome.)

Hey, smell this (something people say to trick you into smelling something foul)

Is it safe? (very disturbing scene in 70s movie Marathon Man)

Hey Mikey! He likes it! (70s commercial for Life cereal)

My god, it’s full of stars (2001: A Space Odyssey)

Goes to 11 (variation of a line from This Is Spinal Tap)

Putting covers on all TPS reports now (variation of Office Space line)

What’s with you, cueball? I’m lookin’ at you and thinkin’, 14 in the side pocket (SNL: Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra to Jan Hooks as Sinead O'Connor)

Round up the usual suspects (Casablanca)

You had to be there (what people say when a story fails to impress)

Come to the Honeycomb Hideout (70s commercial for Honeycomb cereal)

Try our new fixin’s bar (something you see in ads for Shoney's or steakhouses where they put little plastic tabs in the steak to tell you how well it's done)

I’m real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky (Better Off Dead)

I gotta sleep under some Chinaman named after a duck's dork. (Sixteen Candles)

Philomath is where I’ll go, by Joe ("Can't Get There From Here" - REM. Philomath is a tiny little town near Athens, GA)

Thank you, sir, may I have another? (Animal House)

Is this thing on? (classic line from tanking comedians to microphone)

Assume the position (Animal House)

Here come the hammer (MC Hammer song)

Now available in stupid (random line I made up)

May cause anal leakage (actual warning on products made with Olestra)

Have a beer. Don’t cost nothin’ (Animal House)

“Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?” (classic joke punchline)

Guests of LOTD stay at the Essex House, overlooking Central Park (old SNL line)

Just step aside or you might end up in a heap (line from "Road Runner" theme song)

Games, Jake. Silly torturous games. (Sixteen Candles)

You gonna eat that? (something indiscriminate eaters say to other eaters who don't finish a meal)

What’s in the box? (Se7en)

I know that’s right (random)

Guilty feet = no rhythm (my interpretation of a line from "Never Gonna Dance Again" by George Michael)

She loves to move. She loves to groove. She loves the lovin’ things. ("Any Way You Want It" - Journey)

Abandon hope, all ye who enter (classic line from Dante's Divine Comedy)

Jeetyet? (something country folk say when they want to feed you)

Take it easy, man, there’s a beverage here! (The Big Lebowski)

With refills you can make Bugs Bunny or Bozo The Clown (line from old Lite Brite toy commercial)

Just a little pin prick ("Comfortably Numb" - Pink Floyd)

Release the hounds (The Simpsons)

Liquor in the front, poker in the rear (random)

Two lost souls livin’ in a fish bowl, year after year ("Wish You Were Here" - Pink Floyd)

Stay gold, Ponyboy (line from The Outsiders) and the scene it references)


  1. I always enjoy the tagline. Most of the time I recognize the reference, but not always. It's funny how just a few words can evoke an entire scene from a movie or remind us of a commercial from our childhood or plant a song in our head for the rest of the day. I don't know if I could keep coming up with a new one every day the way you do. Fun list, C! :-)

  2. This is spectacular.

    Also, that RV commercial outtakes video is one of my favorite things of all time. LOVE.

  3. Love these. You should put together a collection every month like you do with some of the sidebar bits.

    Also: How did you get that boudoir photo of Mel and me?

  4. I love your taglines! Like Daisy, I recognize most of them. But I love seeing what new tagline you're going to put up there. They always make me laugh. :)

  5. Love this list! The RV guys is awesome, haha!

    My boobs are looking GOOD in that photo, go me! :D

  6. Cary, the Wham! song is called, "Careless Whisper." I LOL'd at your title.
    I believe we're the same age, 45, and I remember quite a lot of those taglines from the 70s you mentioned. The Mikey Life cereal commercial used to be one of my favourites. I think the line goes, "He likes it! Hey Mikey!"
    "Jeetyet" was my absolute favourite from your list! Cracked me up!

  7. D'OH! Careless Whisper. I knew that, I swear.

    I can't tell you how many times in my life someone (usually a relative) said "Jeetyet" to me. That, and "howsyamamandem?" Cracks me up, too. Oh, and my favorite, "Come hug my neck."

  8. Thanks, everyone. Glad you like. I've been meaning to do this post for a long time, but it was a bit of work.

    Lefty - great idea. RE: photo, isn't today's the one you sent me?

    This will probably be today's only post. My kid gets out of school in an hour and, if it doesn't rain, we'll be hitting the pool, methinks. If I don't post again, everyone have a great long weekend and BE SAFE (esp don't drink and drive. I want everyone back next week).

    See ya!

  9. Awesome list! There were quite a few I had heard people say but didn't know what they were from.

  10. Great recap of the taglines. I love seeing the new ones each day, and now they're all neatly compiled into a single list - way to, Cary-O!

    Some I recognize, some I don't, but they're all good.

    Have a good holiday weekend, everyone, and I hope no more tornadoes or other nasty weather goes and wrecks things for LOTD peeps (literally and figuratively).

  11. Ooh! "I bet you never smelled a real bus before" isn't from Better Off Dead, it's from the end of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, when Principal Rooney gets on the bus after being attacked by the Buellers' backyard werewolf.

    Not to be a nitpicker or nothin'. Have a good Memorial Day, Cary and everyone else!

  12. I am sure I am wrong, cuz I usually am...but isn't the "Cue Ball" line from SNL delivered by (God rest his soul) the wonderful Phil Hartman? Still miss that guy...

  13. Thanks, Aries beat me to it. So, I'll put one up that I like from the same movie:

    Monique Junot - "he's always putting his testicles on know like octopus..? "
    Lane Meyer - "OH.. TeNTIcles. NT. Big difference".

  14. Damn shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.

  15. Great. Love them always - one of the best things about LOTD, though there are many.

  16. Thanks, everyone.

    Tobias and Aries, you are both correct. Fixed, and thank you.

  17. Wow, Cary. I know I speak for many longtime FoLOTDs when I say this has been GREAT fun. We love the taglines, man.

    Book me the LOTD Suite at the Essex House for the 4th of July weekend, would ya?

    My other favorites from your list are back-to-back: Steve Martin's line from "The Jerk" and that classic Joe Piscopo/Eddie Murphy take on "Ebony and Ivory."

    Oh, and all of the James Taylor lyrics, the ones here and others that you've used before too, such as "Frozen Man." JT rocks.

    My own nominations:

    "It's a floor wax! It's a dessert topping!" (Vintage SNL commercial for "Shimmer")

    "Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants." (From "My Big Fat Greek Wedding")

    "Spasm! Spasm! Oh, God, here it comes... lactose intolerance!" (From "French Kiss")

    And, in honor of Buhb Dylan's 70th birthday this week: "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."

  18. I thought I was the only person who watched Overboard... (Great list BTW)

  19. "Son, you got a panty on your head!" - Raising Arizona

    Loved this list Cary!

  20. The quote is my favorite part of the day. Sometimes I come here just for that, if I'm short on time.

    Took me a while to get back to this post, I know. Late as always.



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