Thursday, April 14, 2011

Sleeptalker Of The Day

(I totally forgot about this dude. I need to do an update. But first--the rerun.)




He sleeps. He talks. He says crazy stuff, and his wife writes it down on the website, Sleep Talkin' Man.

She says: "My mild-mannered English husband Adam lives quite a colorful existence in his dreams. Having benefited from hours of delight at his dead-of-night musings, I thought it only fair to share them with the world."

Link from Rosie. Thanks, Rosie. You're all right.


Some of Adam's musings:

"Cuff him! Arrest him! I don't care, that manatee is going down!"

"Green bananas. I've got lots and lots of green bananas. Really I've got lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of fucking bananas. Please somebody get rid of my green bananas!"


"Don't worry. I'll find it. That's what I do, find things. I find you annoying. See?"


"The grass on the other side of the fence: Burn it! It's not nice."

"You know, it's not easy being me. You should try it. I bet that after just five minutes, you'll then have an incredible healthy respect for how amazing I am."




"Ah, glass. My nemesis. One day, I shall beat you."

"Toilet showers! Convenient AND refreshing. Nice."


"I made snot pictures. I sneeze in my gallery, all day. Lots of different colours. Making bogey money."

"You've got to save the curtains! Save the curtains... They hold so many secrets."

"Windy in my hair. Don't bend over, you'll whistle."



"I want an elephant race, with hurdles and everything... Watch them jump over ditches. And we can stick little dogs on top as jockeys. Doggie jockeys."

"Of course blue dogs are more expensive. Pink dogs are shite."


"Good morning. I just wanted to be the first person to call you a twat. Enjoy your day."

"Cheese and pineapple on a toothpick... Why?!"


"Stand further away. You can't possibly appreciate my greatness this close up."


"You think cooking pasta is cooking? It's just boiling water, Numb Nuts!"




"They're guinea pig kisses. Weeweeweeweeweeweeweewee in my ear! Eat the fuckers. They're tastier that way."

"If you weren't such a fucking prick, you'd be a decent person."


"Just hold that thought for a seriously long, rectum-pinchingly time."


"Why don't you stand in fuck-up corner. You can stay there 'til, I don't know, I-don't-give-a-shit-about-you 'o clock."


"Hmmm, feathers in your armpits. Tickle yourself stupid."




"Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself."

"Really? If you can pee that high, DEFINITELY join the fire brigade. Yah."


"She's knitting me a jumper. Fuck! I don't want to be a social outcast. Oh, not good."

See more at Sleep Talkin' Man.

8 comments:

  1. So crazy! I wonder how the wife ever gets any sleep.

    The one about saving the curtains sounds like something Nadine Hurley from Twin Peaks would have said. :-D

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love that guy! Although I must admit for a second I thought it was Charlie Sheen.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tickle yourself stupid. New band name. Love it, glad he's not my bedmate. I had a roomie in college who would wake me up in the middle of the night, getting my attention then trailing off with mumbles. It was funny the first couple of times.

    ReplyDelete
  4. He's not sleeping; he is wide awake and pulling her leg. He's faking it. The one time in bed men can get away with faking it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi,

    BlogFront.org is committed to uphold the quality standards of blogging. We strive to maintain and promote only the most credible blogs in their respective fields.

    Spam blogs or "splogs" has been a problem for some time now and people are getting confused about which blog to trust.

    We would like to thank you for maintaining such a reputable blog. We know that it takes time, effort and commitment to keep such a blog and as such, we have added your blog as one of the top Humor Blogs.

    You can see your blog listed here: http://blogfront.org/humor/9

    You can also claim your BlogFront Top Blogs badge at http://blogfront.org/badges/humor

    Thank you for keeping your blog credible. Let's keep the blog revolution alive!

    Maria Blanchard
    BlogFront.org
    Blog Revolucion

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow! Great contribution, blogfront! Way to stay on message. I'd have waited for a posting that focused on irony, but that's just me.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love that guy! Although I must admit for a second I thought it was Charlie Sheen.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails