Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Obnoxious Tweets Of The Day

Die. All of you. Or tell me you're joking.

All from Tweeting Too Hard. Link from Becky Mochaface.

Let's play a little game just for fun. What would be poetic justice for any of these people? I'd laugh if, while examining someone's bookcase when they were "in the bathroom," David Rankin failed to notice them sneaking up behind him with a raised ax, about to lop off his superior head.


  1. I'd fall into a coma if, while doing his power curls at the gym, Mike29401's pants fell to the ground, thereby showing the world the REAL reason why he can't fuck himself.

    That found porn of the day nearly gave me a coronary, Cary, I laughed so hard, and very loud!

  2. Hahaha...oh goodness...why does twitter motivate shallow, vapid people to broadcast their moronic muses?

    I hate twitter.

  3. I hope babesmcphee is one day able to afford gas money for her daddy's jet to fly to the riveria only to somehow crash in the Andes. On top of that I hope the barista hocked a nasty loogie in that biatches drink.

    Sounds like pathswillcross and jessandco were made for each other. Douchebags.

  4. I put annoying statuses on my facebook page very often. People get offended but they don't "de-friend" me. Social networks are not real life. The need to brag about stuff no one cares about is pathetic.

  5. @ vegetarian cannibal - I love Twitter for that exact reason. I appreciate the entertainment oh so much.

  6. Oh my. Such an abundance of arrogance. I think it would be poetic justice if LaBur were suddenly stricken blind. She would get her wish that way, not just one day a year, but every day. She would no longer be visually assaulted by uglies and fatties at all.

  7. Let's see . . .

    @LaBur -- needs to be physically assaulted by uglies and fatties.

    @jessandro -- should die from kidney failure because they couldn't find a donor kidney petite enough for her.

    @brettschulte -- I hope his cleaning lady scrubs his toilet with his toothbrush.

  8. Are these people for real? Good gads. I have no use for Twitter, have never purposely read a real "tweet" - only the nuggets of arrogance and stupidity that get posted here and on other forums for laughs.

    Twitter is clearly the perfect breeding ground for self-absorbed narcissistic douches...even more so than Facebook.

    I busted up laughing when I saw the MPOTD - hahahah! Found porn is also awesome :).

    wv: smated - may all of these TwitteringIdiots be smated by the yin and yang forces in the universe.

  9. Oh, the humanity. This is exactly why I hate Twitter... aside from the fact that it's sort of like Facebook except not fun at all.

    Let's see, who would I punish and how?

    @DarrellBennett shows up to find out he's the keynote speaker at Alpha's annual "Narcissism and Inflated Self-Value" seminar.

    @Pathswillcross gets married to @jessandco and they both gain ungodly amounts of weight and need to be removed from their sofa by forklift while evening news cameras roll.

    @pyrobooby, four words: freak tanning bed incident.

  10. Wow. This is why I don't twitter - mine would be "I unloaded the dishwasher". I guess boring is better than these douchebags.

    This is why my sphincter tightens when schools want to talk about "self-esteem" -the problem today isn't lack of but too much self-esteem. They done studies in jails - those people are full self-esteem thank you very much. And so are these idiots.

  11. It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

    I would've given my granola bar to that hobo, but he was a poorly-dressed fatty.

  12. How funny would it be that @MaggieHyde thought she was giving her granola bar to a homeless person, who really turned out to be a zombie! Her hunger problem...SOLVED! However, the zombie was bummed when he discovered she had no brains:(

  13. Technically, the last one is a quote from "Glee". Sue Sylvester says it in an episode during one of her Sue's Corner news segments. (Yes, I watch Glee. Don't judge)

    I love Twitter. My friends and I use it to share links and pictures, and to post embarassing things we say. If you don't take yourself so damn seriously, it can be a good way to communicate. If you are one of the above douchebags, though, ugh. Shut the hell up.

  14. Vegetarian Cannibal said...

    Hahaha...oh goodness...why does twitter motivate shallow, vapid people to broadcast their moronic muses?

    I hate twitter.

    I think it's better to know what some of these people really think. Imagine being forced to get to know men and women like this as people, only to discover they are total twatwaffles.

    However, with the invention of twitter we are saved that step and are allowed to see their true inner selves. Which usually ends up being as deep as a mud puddle and almost as pure.

  15. uglies and fatties girl develops some disease where she puts on an inordinate amount of weight and eversone goes "Ohhh poor girl, remember when she was pretty and thin?"

  16. Response to Sarah:
    After saying "Remember when she was pretty and thin?" then they go "Nah, me neither."




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