Monday, April 18, 2011

E-Mails From Your In-Laws Of The Day

This site cracks me up. Some of these would be grounds for divorce. "Sorry, honey, I love you, but I can't deal with your family anymore. Goodbye."

Link from Woodwoman.



Dear Sister-In-Law,

Thanks SO much for taking care of Mystique while I'm gone. I hate the idea of boarding him, and you are saving me so much stress. Our garage code is ####, just in case you misplace the key. I know you're well-versed in cat care, but as you know all cats are unique, so I thought I'd clue you in to what makes Mystique tick.

(1) He likes a bit of outdoor time once per day. His kitty leash is by the front door (I put it on the door knob so you can't miss it). I like to walk him by the garden so he can smell the flowers and herbs. If he is a difficult mood, you may have to pick him and carry him to the flowers. After a few minutes of smelling the flowers and whatnot, he is usually much more relaxed and receptive to your requests.

(2) Mystique eats only homemade food. Out in the chest freezer on the left you will find small containers of Mystique's food (I grind rabbit and chicken meat and bones and fortify it with other goodness). The containers are enough for 2 days worth. I will have a fresh one in the fridge and then the day before you run out, defrost the next container to ensure freshness.

(3) He likes to be held and caressed as much as possible, but try not to smother him.

(4) After dinner, I set out 1-2 ounces of red wine for his heart health and to let him unwind. The mini bottles in the pantry are just for him and I labeled his wine bowl on the counter. 1 mini bottle should last 2-3 days. Make sure you don't give him too much even though he will probably drink it very quickly. He really enjoys it and his vet says that as long as it is moderation, he has no qualms.

(5) Mystique likes to watch the Meerkat Manor show on TV with me. I have several recorded.

Thanks so much for taking care of him! It means a lot to me that he is in your very capable hands. I really appreciate it.

Thanks again,
Your SIL

(See more at E-Mails From Your In-Laws)

13 comments:

  1. Last time I left my cats in the care of another person, I left her a bag of dry food and a jar of water. Oh and a bag of catnip so the babies would be civil to her. I forgot to tell my friend that the little one likes to watch CNN and soccer matches.
    I am a bad mommy, apparently.

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  2. Oh my word! If you have to carry Mystique over to smell the flowers, he may not like it so much as she thinks. Wine? HA HA HA!

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  3. Wait...that letter was inappropriate? hahahaha

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  4. Hey, thanks for featuring my blog! Love your website and all of the hilarious-ness! :-)

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  5. If that letter is legit, I really need to smack someone. Hard.

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  6. If it was me, I'd drink the wine, feed Mystique and leave. I'm guessing Mystique's mommy didn't have any human kids of her own.

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  7. If Mystique's mommy had a human child, would she name it Mystique? Scherezade?

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  8. You guys won't even believe it. I got back from my vacation and even though I sent her that nice e-mail, that bitch SIL of mine hadn't walked Mystique and was letting him DRINK OUT OF THE TOILET.

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