Thursday, April 14, 2011

Celebs Who Turned Down "Dancing With The Stars" Of The Day

Turns out some of them have a little dignity after all.

Kinda reminds me of the time I worked in cable TV and we wanted to license the song, "Burning Down The House," (the Tom Jones remake) as the theme for a crappy new reality series. When you license a cover, you have to get permission from (and pay big bucks to) both the cover artist and the original song composers. It took the lawyers a while to get in touch with Tom Jones, but when they did, he said sure, great, I'll take your 30K, old boy. We weren't quite so lucky with the Talking Heads--their answer was something to the effect of "Go fuck yourselves."

When he heard this, my witty friend Spinderfella said, "Damn those Talking Heads! How
dare they have artistic integrity?!"

Here are the people who politely told DWTS to shove it, and why they did (when known).

Jamie Lee Curtis - “My family commitments are such that I wouldn't have the time for it...but it definitely made me go, 'Hmmm.' It was fun to think about it."

Sylvester Stallone

Tim Allen

Chelsea Handler

Jennifer Beals - “You could back up a truck to my door filled with cash and I wouldn’t do it.” Having once attended a taping of the show to cheer on friend and former contestant Marlee Matlin, Beals was overwhelmed by the experience. “The noise level is so intense and people’s excitement level is so intense. I could never.” She even joked with Matlin, who is deaf, “You don’t know how lucky you are you can’t hear this.”

Betty White - probably doesn't want to fall and break her hip

Gayle King - despite being a fixture on the Oprah Winfrey Show, the 56-year-old O magazine editor-in-chief doesn’t mince words when it comes to her appearing on national television in her dancing shoes. “I think it's good to keep my public humiliation to a minimum. I would never want to embarrass my children ever...or myself! I can't dance.”

Subway pitchman Jared Fogel

Drew Carey

Kathy Griffin - she claimed to have fired her agent over the mere suggestion

Ann Coulter

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg

Jon Gosselin

Dan Quayle - the former VP was in final negotiations when he got cold feet and dropped out.

Suzanne Somers

Condoleezza Rice

Erin Brockovich

Joel McHale

Virgin CEO Richard Branson

Stone Cold Steve Austin
- the wrestler said he wasn't interested because he has "two left feet" and his rhythm is "so-so at best."

Reverend Al Sharpton - has been wooed by producers for many seasons, but he has never agreed to put on his dancing shoes. He says it’s not for lack of talent, though: “I’ve got moves...I’d blow ’em out! There would be no chance for anybody to touch me!”

And one star who wants to be on the show but can't get them to return her call:

"According to show's casting source, Melanie Griffith tries and fails to appear on 'DWTS' every year." (CBS News)


  1. C'mon, Melanie, I'll dance with you. And bring that sweatshirt.

  2. I'm shocked that fame hogs Jon Gosselin and Suzanne Somers turned them down. Jamie Lee Curtis is great -- and she danced a lovely tango in "True Lies." She's probably way too busy selling her poop yogurt.

    Frank, I'm sure Melanie would love to dance with you. Are you sure you still want to dance with her? She looks a bit different now.

  3. Let's try that again. I can't seem to type properly today. Here's Mel.

  4. I'm a little surprised that Drew Carey turned them down since he did so much dancing on his sitcom.

    I don't watch that show. Maybe it is just me, but it seems like every time they announce the list of the next "stars" to be on it, I either am left wondering who the people are, or I'm thinking, "What a bunch of has-beens and wanna-bes."

  5. This list has now made me sad. They should all be in the same season. Best season ever! At least most of these are actual stars....Bristol Palin anyone?

  6. I give up. You'll just have to take my word for it. She looks really, really bad. And her legs look like my grandma's.

    This season I only recognized a couple of "stars." We were watching it the first night.
    My 13 year old: "Who are these people?"
    Me: "They're celebrities."
    Her: "Where?"

  7. I have zero interest in watching celebs dance or do anything else except maybe a Lord Of The Flies kinda scenario where they get dropped on an island and have to kill each other off to win.

  8. I'm not ashamed to admit that I watch DWTS. It's one of the few shows on tv that I can watch with my kids and not have to explain "stuff". Plus, I have a bit of a crush on Dmitry and Maks ;)

    I still can't believe that Kirstie Alley is friggin' 60 years old!

  9. I always wondered who the hell the 'stars' were on Match Game, with a few exceptions. I mean who knows what Brett Sommers or Charles Nelson Reiley were famous for? Now our children have their own mystery celebs.

  10. Ann Coulter makes an idiot out of herself on TV enough as is. Besides, I have a hard time looking at someone with an "Adam's apple" who claims to be a woman.

  11. I don't really like watching reality tv or celebrity shows BUT I friggin love Celebrity Apprentice. Especially this season. Gary Busey and Meatloaf, how can you go wrong?

  12. I'm not entirely sure Sylvester Stallone said no. Have you ever heard the man speak?

    @ RGR

    Is this what you meant to post?

  13. YES! Thank you, Cam! Some days my lack of technical ability is just too overwhelming.:)

  14. ...Now in regards to Melanie Griffith, I have to agree with frank on this one.

    However, I must admit that if Melanie flashed her boobs at me, dancing with her would be the last thing on my mind!

  15. If you were dancing with Melanie G., your main concern may be not stepping on her boobs.



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