Friday, March 4, 2011

News Of The Day: Uhh, Never Mind On The Cigarette

It was either this or carry a man-purse, and Neil had far too much dignity for that.

From The Smoking Gun.



COPS: INMATE HAD CONDOM STUFFED WITH 30 ITEMS UP HIS BUTT

A Florida inmate is facing new criminal charges after a strip search turned up a remarkable array of items hidden inside a condom sticking out of his rectum.

Neil Lansing, 34, was jailed Friday after being sentenced in Drug Court on a possession charge. It appears that Lansing stocked up on contraband in anticipation of serving his time, according to a Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office report.

During a “routine search of inmates” Friday night, jailers “observed part of a condom sticking out of the defendant’s anus.” After the item was dislodged, deputies discovered it contained:

* 17 round blue pills marked “54/199”
* 1 cigarette
* 6 matches
* 1 flint
* 1 empty syringe with eraser over needle
* 1 lip balm container
* 1 condom
* 1 CVS receipt
* 1 paper coupon

Lansing was charged with illegally possessing drugs (the blue pills were Oxycodone) and tobacco inside a county jail.


9 comments:

  1. Was the paper coupon for a "Free Back Rub"?

    Stannon B.

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  2. 1 CVS receipt and 1 paper coupon -- HA HA HA HA HA! Well, at least he is a frugal shopper! :D

    How would you like to be the one who "dislodged" that wonderful collection? Ewwwww!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lip balm? Good to know he's concerned about chapped lips. He's gonna need to be. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Should have also packed a collapsable lounge chair and an inflatable donut.

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  5. Another reason to decline other people's offer of chapstick. When my grandma told me "put that down, you don't know where it might have been", she didn't know the half of it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm sort of freaked out about the syringe with an eraser over the needle. One good clench and he could have uncorked that puppy and skewered himself.

    ReplyDelete
  7. At least he had the foresight to bring in a coupon! With prices these days, it pays to save every bit you can.

    Dumb ass...(ooh! literally!)

    ReplyDelete
  8. A receipt? Was he actually planning on returning these things? Remind me never to buy chapstick from CVS.

    ReplyDelete

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