From Passive-Aggressive Notes unless otherwise noted.
"My six-year-old daughter misbehaved at school, so she couldn’t go to the harvest festival. This didn’t go over well, so she wrote me this threatening note. When I laughed, she took it back to add, ‘I (am) serious.’”
"Mom, do not eat one piece of [bacon] or I not talk to you."
"If you don't get me a water, I will call 911 or call Daddy."
From Bailey in Oklahoma: “My little brother hung the original note on his door when I came home from college for christmas. after I laughed it off, he left a special note just for me. When I when walked in anyway, he yelled, 'Didn’t you see the sign?!?’"
"Dear Mom, I want to inform you that I am not feeling like I want to talk to you so please just say goodnite then remember I will be up early so you can do my hair. - Claire."
These next two are from Le Shallowgal, who explains that her two kids were fighting so she made them write apology notes to each other. This is her daughter's first try at an apology to her older brother.
"Dear Jake, I'm sorry for doing nothing. Noa. P.S. I did not touch you."
Of course mom rejected that one and made her try again. Her second version:
"Dear tattle tail, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Noa."
Text to a mom from her 16yo son
And one from me...
One day last year, my daughter went home from school with a friend. When my wife arrived to pick her up, the kid wanted to stay, of course, but it was almost dinnertime and she had homework to do, so they left. My child was not happy about this.
"They're doing fun stuff and we're just going home," she whined.
Says Mom, "If you get your homework done, we can do something fun after dinner."
"Like what? There's NOTHING fun to do at our house!!"
"Oh well, maybe you'll think of something."
She did. Not long after they got home, my child presented her mother this list of things they could do for fun. I guess #13 was a last-minute add-on.