Monday, March 28, 2011

Creepiest Kids' Book Author Photos Of The Day



Think twice about handing off a copy of The Giving Tree to a precocious tot; it's one of the few classic children's tomes still in print to feature a giant, frightening visage of its owner on the back cover. We're not sure if Shel just got out of prison, or if he just smelled onions.


Current printings of Where the Wild Things Are have removed the author photo of Sendak -- a wise move. The man is absolutely terrifying, and he's still as cantankerous as ever. In a recent interview, when asked whether or not he had anything to say to parents who find Wild Things too unsettling for children, Sendak said they could "go to hell."


From the looks of the slightly uncomfortable Stine, a working title for his Goosebumps series could have been "Moley Moles." We're sure R.L.'s a nice (albeit unsmiling) guy and all, but giant moles are plenty scary to 7-year-olds. Can't...look...away...


It's one thing to hop on Pop; it's another thing altogether to hunt and kill the creatures you created for your own amusement, then display their heads as trophies. That's our only explanation for what transpired here. The man was a doctor of death, apparently.


We sincerely hope that's the daughter of the famous Winnie the Pooh creator seated on his lap. "Oh bother," indeed.


The rumored white supremacist could've based Slugworth from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on his own likeness. Why so glum, chum? This must be the face of a man who spent a lifetime without candy. We hear his next book in the Charlie series was to be called Charlie Runs Out for a Pack of Smokes.


We'll cut the Jungle Book author some slack on his lack of a cheery countenance, since this shot was taken during an era when photographs were believed to steal part of your soul. But damn, what's up with those eyebrows?

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  1. Dr. Seuss looks a little like Mr. Rogers in that picture to me. :-) The trophy heads are creepy though.

    Silverstein looks like he is about to bite someone, or maybe he already did!

    Kipling's eyebrows look like giant caterpillars have crawled onto his face. Yikes!

  2. The kid on Milne's lap could very well be Christopher Robin (his real son). Either way, creepy.

  3. A wise publisher would not include these images.

    I agree with Sendak, though. Go to hell if you're not down with Where the Wild Things Are.

  4. Hell is other people, it's been said, so when someone tells you to go to Hell, I wonder if they really mean Wal-Mart.

  5. Yup, that's THE Christopher Robin on his lap. I've had to reassure my own children that he IS, in fact, a boy.

  6. Wow, Cary, that last comment sounded just like a Jack Handey 'Deep Thought' quote!

  7. I wish I could remember where I saw the other mention of Slugworth today.

  8. re: RLStine...I hadn't even noticed the moles until you mentioned them...the Groucho glasses were too distracting! Talk about some eyebrows!!! Whoa mama!

  9. Forgot to mention...Roald Dahl reminds me of the narrator in Rocky Horror...but why is he "assuming the position" all hunkered over like that? Could that chocolate factory thing be something dark and nasty?



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