Wednesday, March 16, 2011

8 Sex Myths You Shouldn't Believe (Of The Day)

Hard to believe that anyone in the 21st century still thinks like this, but hey, it's from Fox News, and if they say it, then by god it must be 100% true, right? My only contributions are the notes in italics and a couple of additional myths at the end.

From Audra, who was as amused by this goofy 1950's-sounding list as I was.


They come up time and time again, those seemingly credible bits about sex that consumer magazines love to regurgitate. Many have been around for so long that they’ve become accepted as truth, but they are not. Here are eight of the most enduring sex myths.

1. A female is not a virgin if she does not have a hymen.

Societies around the world still believe that an intact hymen is proof of a woman's virginity (or fugliness). In these cultures, “chaste” women are ones who can be married off. What they don’t know is that some females can stretch or break their hymens through a variety of activities, like sports (Zumba) or tampon use. Furthermore, many hymens are merely stretched – not torn – during first-time intercourse (with a midget).

2. Men are more visually stimulated than women.

A study in the journal Brain Research indicates otherwise. Researchers measured the brainwave activity of women viewing slides of erotic and non-erotic images. Naturally, the brainwave activity became markedly different with the erotic slides. But what threw off researchers is that the female participants responded as strongly as men do to such imagery (i.e. we're all repulsed by the sight of hairy, sweaty balls.)

3. Only women can have multiple orgasms.

Females are not alone; men too can experience several non-ejaculatory orgasms in a row during a single sex session. This happens when: (A) a man has strengthened his pelvic muscles for greater control (by having an office on the other end of the building from the bathroom); (B) he has learned to back off from the “point of ejaculatory inevitability,” making his ultimate orgasm even stronger; or (C) he's been spankin' it so much that there's nothing left to ejaculate.

(Wait. Women have orgasms? Huh. Learn something new every day.)

4. Being uncircumcised is unhygienic.

For decades, parents in the U.S. have been circumcising their infant sons in the name of cleanliness. Only recently have parents started to second-guess the idea (blood and screaming can have that effect). As long as the foreskin is retracted during bathing, uncircumcised males are no more likely than circumcised males to develop problems with their penis caused by poor hygiene. (They are, however, more likely to be called "Sausage Dick" or "Ol' Turtlehead by other 14-year-olds in the gym shower.)

5. A woman must be in love to climax.

(HA HA HA HA!)

6. Men do not have sensitive nipples.

Lots of men have nipples that are sensitive, if not very sensitive. While society tends to regard this erogenous zone as one for a lady’s pleasuring, some men’s nipples are more sensitive than a woman’s. Likewise, not all women have sensitive nipples (because plucking hair from them every day can cause loss of feeling.)

7. A woman must have an orgasm in order to conceive.

Not true, of course. However, British biologists found that when a woman has an orgasm from one minute before to 45 minutes after her partner (goes to sleep), she retains a much greater amount of sperm than she does after non-orgasmic sex. Muscular contractions associated with orgasm pull the sperm into the cervix, making fertilization more likely.

(A woman must have an orgasm, however, in order to go out with you again.)


8. Men’s members need to be handled with care.

(Member? Who uses that word besides Penthouse Forum?)


Just about any bloke will tell you that while his valuables are just that –- valuable –- he can handle a bit of (wo)manhandling. The key to figuring out just how much he can take, and where, is that matter of communication ("Watch the goddamn teeth!!" for example). Lovers need to talk about what grips, touches, and tugs feel good, especially since every guy is unique.

*****

Ok, I'll add a few:

9. Women like to be slapped on the ass and have their hair pulled during sex

Not all of them. One does, but she was the exception, not the rule, and I think she was just really excited about being at her first Cubs game.

10. Guys get hornier when they drink

Yes and no. Most guys do tend to get frisky after an adult beverage or two, but when you finally tear them away from the bar after ten more of those beverages, closing the sale becomes a problem... not of desire, but of ability. See: whiskey dick.

11. Guys love it when you put your finger up their butt

Some do, some don't. Better to ask first, because if you do it to a guy who doesn't want it, you will lose that finger when his sphincter clamps shut with the force of a steel trap.

Any others you'd like to add?

22 comments:

  1. I cry all amounts of bullshit on number 2. There's a reason Playboy is a multi-billion dollar superbusiness, and Playgirl has been flirting with bankruptcy since the 70's. (If it even still exists, I haven't seen one since my sister moved out sometime back around 1982.)

    Only women say that they are as visually motivated as men, because they have no concept of how overwhelmingly, stupefyingly, universe-crackingly visually driven the average man-beast really is.

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    1. I am. All I think about most of every day is how my partner looks naked. Sometimes I can barely think straight or do anything because I'm so wrapped up in thoughts of ripping his clothes off and touching every part of his body. Sometimes when he is naked and talking to me I zone out because I'm getting too turned on by his chest and his beautiful penis. Even just the thought of it now is arousing. It's been over 9 months, so it's not a super new relationship rush. Maybe you've just not been intimate with a woman with a high sex drive that is open about her sexuality?

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    2. Sorry Cherry - you are the exception not the rule. Plenty of studies have shown this - if the study bothers to not only see if women ARE stimulated, but also HOW MUCH they are stimulated.

      Overall, it looks like about 80% of men are primarily stimulated visually, while about 20% of women are.

      There are 7 billion of us, we all like a lot of different things. But by and large, while women are not unmoved by visual stimulation, they are often more moved by auditory or tactile stimulation. It doesn't mean they don't enjoy looking at naked forms, or even their naked partner, but it means other senses play a larger role in their stimulation - I think women are also more prone to olfactory stimulation than men, but that's just a personal observance not one backed by any data.

      And one's sex drive has NO correlation to what turns them on. That's the same thing the BDSM people get into their heads too, that deep down we are all into that stuff too, and the rest of us are just repressing it. The truth is, sexual stimulation is a very diverse and complicated thing, that is as individual as what kind of ice cream we like or what colors we prefer on our walls. And one person who's sex drive is through the roof may love hardcore gangbang porn, while a person with an equally insane sex drive can prefer Skinemax and a toy with a textured tip. None of it is right or wrong, good or bad, repressed or open.

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    3. Sorry Cherry - you are the exception not the rule. Plenty of studies have shown this - if the study bothers to not only see if women ARE stimulated, but also HOW MUCH they are stimulated.

      Overall, it looks like about 80% of men are primarily stimulated visually, while about 20% of women are.

      There are 7 billion of us, we all like a lot of different things. But by and large, while women are not unmoved by visual stimulation, they are often more moved by auditory or tactile stimulation. It doesn't mean they don't enjoy looking at naked forms, or even their naked partner, but it means other senses play a larger role in their stimulation - I think women are also more prone to olfactory stimulation than men, but that's just a personal observance not one backed by any data.

      And one's sex drive has NO correlation to what turns them on. That's the same thing the BDSM people get into their heads too, that deep down we are all into that stuff too, and the rest of us are just repressing it. The truth is, sexual stimulation is a very diverse and complicated thing, that is as individual as what kind of ice cream we like or what colors we prefer on our walls. And one person who's sex drive is through the roof may love hardcore gangbang porn, while a person with an equally insane sex drive can prefer Skinemax and a toy with a textured tip. None of it is right or wrong, good or bad, repressed or open.

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    4. Also @ Cherry, you must consider that being "Male" or "Female" has a lot to do with a biochemical gradient, where each sex lies on opposite ends. Most people just look at their junk to tell, but it really does not have so much to do with equipment (explain gays and bi any other way, I challenge you). It is very possible that you have male biochemistry, simple as that. There is likely no such thing as an absolute woman, or absolute man.

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  2. I'm inclined to agree with you, Aries.

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  3. I know one thing for sure, that hairy moob picture for #6 is definitely NOT visually motivating for me. Eww! :P

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  4. Okay, #1 cracked me up. Zumba? Really? I must be doing it wrong. (But then again I lost my virginity during Reagan's first term.)

    And #9, well, let's just say there's more than one of us out there. (And I'm not a Cubs fan!)

    This list would have mind-numbingly boring if not for your comments, Cary. Maybe you could work at Fox News? Snort.

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  5. 12. Women feel insulted when you forego the snuggling, instead telling her to get the hell out and would it kill you to get me a goddamn beer before you go?

    That's a myth. It goes beyond insulted. I had to get my own goddamn beer.

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  6. Agree w/ Aries on calling b/s on #2. I could type up a list 10 feet long on the stuff that turns men on - much of it completely inexplicable and definitely NOT reciprocal. Sometimes, it's so absurd that I just have to laugh.

    Cary, I laughed out loud at #9. Aaannnd....agreed about #10 & 11.

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  7. Oh man, that hairy nipple...Cary, that was uncalled for, really!

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  8. There is one more sex myth that you may not be aware of...

    Myth No. 9: James O' Keefe is a ladies' man --
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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  9. I've never understood how #7 could continue to be propagated. Can you just imagine: "No, Babe, I don't have a condom. But as long as you don't come, you won't get pregnant. So how 'bout it then?"

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  10. I think that hairy boob belongs to a gorilla.
    #9 reminds me - there's a young woman who drives around town whose license plate holder says "if you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair" which I not only found shocking but then had my kid ask me what it meant.

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  11. #3 I'll believe when I'm left as a quivering mass of jelly in bed and not a second before. All the yoga/tantric sex guys who claim to be able to get off like that also subscribe to the belief that sitting in place contemplating your navel for six hours at a time is good for you.

    #4 My cousin Jacob was called "dog dork" all through Jr high and high school for this reason.

    #6 I have no personal experience since I grew up with three older brothers who spent every spare minute they had either giving me purple nurples, noogies, or wedgies. So by now my chest, the top of my head, and my backside are all oddly resistant to attack. (With the exception of #11 that is...)

    #8 I wish I had the ability to convince two different women the duality of this one. Yes, you can hurt us by treating it too roughly (my first gf) or conversely, "It ain't made out of glass ya know." (my last gf)

    #9 Knowing the difference BEFOREHAND makes all the difference. Finding out she doesn't enjoy the slap part of "the ol slap and tickle" until after you spanked her ass and called her a dirty girl is really the wrong way to find out.

    #10 Oh God whiskey-dick. Only thing that makes a woman more pissed off than my example in #9 is getting her good and revved up for sex only to show up with a floppy peener that couldn't stand up if you put it in a splint.

    #11 Yeah, I'm of the "ask me first" school of thought on this. The type of guy who'd enjoy an impromptu prostate check seems to be a small segment of the population, and besides even if he's up for that, no one digs a random digit up any hole without some advanced warning and or prep work.

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    1. Number 3 is actually a thing. I gave an ex partner a multiple orgasm. He was as surprised as I was that it could happen. We didn't know it was possible.

      As for Whiskey-dick, most women won't get mad. From experience the first thought is feeling sad like you made your partner go limp because *insert insane self depreciating insecurity*
      Most women will think there is something wrong with them rather than become angry. I mean personally I've always been aware of other factors - but that first sad feeling of failing lingers around for a bit anyway.

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  12. "I cry all amounts of bullshit on number 2."

    Let's see if you can give any reasons people should believe you over the research findings (other than, say, wishful thinking).

    "There's a reason Playboy is a multi-billion dollar superbusiness, and Playgirl has been flirting with bankruptcy since the 70's."

    This does not mean women are less visually stimulated, per se. An alternative explanation would be that women tend to be less consistently sexually driven. This would explain not only the lower average rate of porn consumption, but also the empirical reality that "[more] men than women masturbate, and they do so more frequently. More men experience orgasms, and do so more consistently. More men experience orgasms, and do so more consistently." (Erick Janssen, Ph.D., Associate Scientist at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University.) The explanation that women have lower average sex drives is a simpler explanation that still fits the facts, rendering redundant the hypothesis that women are less visually stimulated, per se. The study you dismiss as "bullshit" is consistent with the lower sex drive hypothesis, which is far more supported by evidence than your belief that women are less visually stimulated, per se.

    Another factor could be that women tend to be much more sexually objectified in modern "western[ized]" society. This could explain part of women's relative lack of interest in Playboy, male strippers, and so forth. This explanation probably would not even be necessary to account for considerably lower female consumption of pornography, as the first explanation is likely more than adequate. However, it might turn out to explain part of the disparity. Another factor might be that women tend to be more sexually inhibited in general, even orthogonal to sex drive.

    "Only women say that they are as visually motivated as men, because they have no concept of how overwhelmingly, stupefyingly, universe-crackingly visually driven the average man-beast really is."

    This is not my experience (and, by the way, I am a man). However, again, differing sex drives are more than enough to explain the gap in rates in porn consumption, and unlike your explanation, they also explain differences in *numerous* other sexual behaviors and other indicia.

    I notice you didn't even attempt to refute the study. You made no criticism of the methodology of the study; you simply dismissed it as bullshit, probably because the results do not agree with your own preconceived notions. Is there any real reason to assume that the brain waves would lie, or bullshit, as you put it?

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  13. ^ Calm down anonymous feminist, finding it hard to believe women are as visually stimulated as men is not an attack on your gender or your place in society. Just calm the fuck down.

    Second, the example does not list specifics of the brain study. It could EASILY be that brain wave activity in the brain drastically changes because in most societies people have a very strange and unhealthy outlook on sex and nudity. It is considered "naughty" and taboo by many otherwise well adjusted adults. Seeing erotic imagery could cause a lot of different brain activity specifically because of the persons views towards such activities.

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    1. Maybe you should actually read posts before you respond. The person you are responding to is male. I'm fairly sure he never assumed his gender was under attack.

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  14. #2 I just find that hard to believe. I don't doubt that erotic images illicit strong brainwaves from both males and females but if the point is sexual stimulation I definitely don't believe its the same.

    #4 Needed to be debunked for a long time. You'll only have hygienic problems with an uncircumcised penis if you are an unhygienic person in general. Some people are just nasty and lazy to take the extra couple seconds to wash correctly.

    #6 Definitely true...no girl have given my nipple any sort of extra attention till my most recent gf and thats when i found out how sensitive my nipples are...to the point where the first couple of times i couldn't even handle the sensation.

    #11 I never heard of this myth, but personally I have no desire to have anything shoved up there...finger or otherwise.

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  15. TRUE -> 2. Men are more visually stimulated than women. The article supposedly rendering this false is bad science. Sexual stimulation is not measured in brain activity, but rather in the functional chemistry of each sex. Males will produce higher amounts of AVP when exposed to attractive symmetry. Tastes may vary. Also oxytocin levels are increased. Being an anti-diuretic hormone, the resulting erection is logical. Women do not express this chemical reaction given similar stimulation. Women, alternatively, are more aroused by olfactory senses.

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